Seeking advice from people.

[Elodie_86]

Hi, I found this forum just tonight by chance and I was hoping that I could ask peoples opinions on this.

Since I was about 13 I used to self harm on my upper arms, the main reason I did it at first was that I used to get really frantic and over emotional and pretty hysterical, I'd reach a point of feeling like I wanted to really hurt myself but would self-harm instead. After I did it I would usually snap out of it about a half hour later. Sometimes I would go outside and run or if I were alone just become restless and exhilerated, throws things, shout, etc, etc.

I always had highs and lows which have been fairly extreme, throughout my life.

I had real problems with depression about a year ago, and basically didn't answer my phone or bother eating food or even finding a place to sleep. When I managed to get my will up I went to the doctor but they basically shrugged it off, but the practise I went to never listened to people so.

I still get highs and lows, but I managed to get out of that particular rutt.

But very recently I have been getting mood swings. They go rapidly from excited and energetic very optimistic, to extremely angry, frustrated and upset. But shorter periods of time than what I've always had. I've never had such severe issues with anger before.

I've never been entirely sure if I'm Bipolar or if it's something else, I was wondering if anyone could relate or offer some insight.

Thanks.

 

[rasselas]

...

hi, how old are you now? 23-24?

 

[Elodie_86]

Yes,

I'm 23.

 

[rasselas]

...

You've done well to get through a decade of struggling. And it's good that you don't cut yourself any more.

Everyone's different. When we suffer we want answers. Many people find some relief in being able to give their suffering a name. It works as an identifier and can sometimes help others around them be less judgemental. Although, it can work the other way too.

It's natural in life to have mood swings - even wild and crazy mood swings, if they happen to you, they are natural to you. It's who you are. Often thes intense feelings rise up, seemingly from nowhere, and overwhelm us. Anger is particularly self-destructive - but it isn't always about gnashing of the teeth, it can be more subtle too.

Perhaps you are holding too much inside. You're well into your early adult life and it can be a time of great change and self-reflection. Lots of thinking about who you are and lots of looking back and re-interpreting your childhood with mature eyes and thoughts.

Most peoples' early 20s involve very varied emotions and feeelings of rage - I suppose the more crap you have to look back on, the rangier those emotions will be.

There are perhaps two ways you might proceed: seek to stifle your emotions with a diagnosis and drugs and keep all that stuff hemmed in in your skullbox; or, explore ways of releasing that emotion, or channeling it, using it to your advantage, or at the very least, preventing yourself from scuttling your own ship.

The third way is a bit of each.

But I wouldn't recommend doing nothing.

Good luck.

 

[iffybob]

Other

Sorry i dont agree withyour "tough it out" attitude.... mark.uk ...

I think you should try 2 approches ...

1.. Yes , try and find a way of dealing with your immediate emotional swings as they arrise, ie learn coping stragergys... that is what any 'good' counciler or psycholgyst should suggest anyway, try and eat , sleep or rest , and do stuff that keeps you occupied....

2.. go back to the docs, not all things that present as psychological traits are infact that, assume medical first then when that is ruled out resort to that it is psychological, talk to your GP explain that you want to 'try' and sort this out, try and get blood test when you feel ok, and when you feel otherwise..

You do owe it to yourself to sort this out ...

.. regards ... boB ...

 

[rasselas]

Sorry i dont agree withyour "tough it out" attitude.... mark.uk ...

come again? offering advice isn't a competitive act, or it shouldn't be. how on earth you can interpret me suggesting a 'tough it out' attitude, I don't know.

exactly how does this represent advising 'tough it out'?:

There are perhaps two ways you might proceed: seek to stifle your emotions with a diagnosis and drugs and keep all that stuff hemmed in in your skullbox; or, explore ways of releasing that emotion, or channeling it, using it to your advantage, or at the very least, preventing yourself from scuttling your own ship.

The third way is a bit of each.

But I wouldn't recommend doing nothing.

Truly puzzling.

 

[iffybob]

Other

I have read quite abit of your other stuff .... and interperated your responce with that in mind... sorry but to me that is the way you come across ..

 

[rasselas]

I have read quite abit of your other stuff .... and interperated your responce with that in mind... sorry but to me that is the way you come across ..

then with respect to this young person here I suggest you keep your broader criticisms to PM.

 

[iffybob]

Ok..

No problem .... but you did ask..

 

[Elodie_86]

Thanks for the responses.

I have to say, I found the advice from Mark very useful. I don't like the idea of drugs, I never have. I think I would like to put my energy into something creative and try a purer way of living as an experiment, so I appreciate the suggestions. Stopping the self harming was one of toughest things I've had to do, I really didn't think it would be as hard as it was, I'm pleased I managed to stop.

It's actually been a huge relief finding this forum because up until now, I have never actually communicated with people with similar issues and an understanding of the kind of mentality you face when you have these feelings.

Thanks so much for responding, have you had a similar issue where you found an outlet for your emotions?

 

[prettywoman]

Ive just got back from the gym. Im on anti depressants (small does) until my referral to psychiatrist comes through. I dont like taking drugs either, so Im looking for other ways to get me feeling in a better place. As hard as it was to go tonight, ive really enjoyed it and feel tired but calm and relaxed. I guess we all have to find what works for us. Take care.

 

[rasselas]

...

Stopping the self harming was one of toughest things I've had to do, I really didn't think it would be as hard as it was, I'm pleased I managed to stop.

It's a triumph!

have you had a similar issue where you found an outlet for your emotions?

Hope. Hope is the key ingredient. Even in the darkest moments, retain your hope. How to do that? There are lots of methods, but I suppose, in terms of bipolar, it's maintaining a sense of the episodic nature of things. When I dip very low, right deep into the slough of despond, I can sometimes forget where I am, who I am, where I came from, and most fundamentally of all - where I'm going. It's a dreadful feeling of being lost. Like I've forgotten all I've learnt. It's then that I need someone who knows me well, to remind me - this passes, this is transitory, even though it may feel the world has stopped for me, the clock continues ticking and I'm moving forward. And as each day passes, the bleakness gradually lifts. The feeling of hope is essential.

As for outlets. The most useful way to regulate my moods I've found is through daily exercise, as prettywoman suggests, and a good diet. They are the most simplest solutions, yet often the hardest to achieve if you've fallen into bad habits. And exercise and diet, while being the two most effective ways of managing your symptoms, are ironically the first two to slip when you become unwell.

I don't mean to say that I assume you don't eat well or excercise enough! This is just my general approach.

So I set these two things as the priority for each day. At the close of each day, if I have not achieved these, I resolve to push myself the following day. And if you get into that habit, before too long it becomes natural. The benefits of both are incredible and once you've attained the habit you won't want to let it slip again.

One last suggestion: learn about yourself. If you haven't already, try and look for patterns in your life, your days and months and moods. Look for triggering events, things that take you up and down. Write them out. Explore your personal patterns - you'll almost certainly find them if you look long and hard enough. Knowing these patterns can be very effective tools to keep you from going too high or too low.