Seeing the psych early tomorrow morning

midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#1
I'm scared - what if she doesn't believe me? What if she decides to lock me up and they forget where the key is? What if she calls me a liar? What if she hates me? Will she punish me for having bad thoughts? My brain says she will and the voices agree :panic:
 
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Rose19602

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#2
That's a lot of "what ifs"....!! Worse than me....

I hate my psych, so I empathise. They can be quite difficult people with way too much power, but you know as well as I do that the locking up and forgetting where the key is thing isn't going to happen.

If she calls you a liar...defend yourself and tell her why you are telling the truth. Practice before you go!
If she hates you...pah! I doubt you're too fond of her, and anyway she's not allowed to show it.

If you're having bad thoughts, maybe run them by us and we'll listen. Then at least you'll have a third opinion - your brain and voices probably aren't the best of judges when you are panicking.

I can relate though. My psych scares the proverbial sh*t out of me....

x
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#3
Most of the thoughts that my brain comes out with are about harming myself and ways to die (for obvious reasons I won't go into detail about it), it literally will not quit and it comes out with stuff without me even giving it permission to think any of that stuff, it makes me overthink all the time :panic:

Shall I just lie to the psych and tell her I'm fine :panic:
 
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Rose19602

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#4
No, don't do that, otherwise she won't be able to help you or give advice.

Not sure what your history is with this psych.
Have you been seeing her long?
Does she just dole out meds and dismiss you
or does she listen and try to help?

I don't think people realise how scary it is telling them what is going round in your head. It's bad enough dealing with it....saying it out loud and then being afraid of the consequences is worse somehow.

You need a little reassurance from her, to help you open up.
Is she likely to offer that?

Mine wouldn't.... he'd just look at me like a specimen in a petrie dish and say "hmmmm....."

These psychs need to go on a "bedside manner course"... they really are quite weird.

Keep talking Midnight P, it's better to talk it through. I get in a state too.
x
 
speckles

speckles

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#6
I know the world of psych s can be hard, but they may not always share our agenda s, (rightly and wrongly), some are not very good, many though genuinely do want to help, you don't want her to judge you so I think we should give them the same curtiousy and not judge them before we meet them, not to say you just go along with whatever but you shouldn't be lying, not much point in going if your going to lie how can they help you at all then.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#7
I've only seen her once so far and she stares at me and I find it scary being stared at because it's like she can see inside me - x ray vision type look :panic:

Oh for flip sake I'm about to freak out completely :panic:
 
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Rose19602

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#8
She's right again that Speckles lady - always is ! (lol)

....of course you shouldn't pre-judge.

They do want to help I'm sure....(mine's got a funny way of showing it at times....) but you're right Speckles!

Give her a chance and tell her all that you can..

xxx
 
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pepecat

pepecat

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#9
Agree with speckles. I do, i mean!
If you don't tell them what's going on, they're not going to be able to help you properly, or even at all. It's scary, i know. I remember when i s/h'd the first and second times (about ten years apart), i refused to tell my gps as i was scared they would section me. Third time, i did tell the gp, and i wasn't sectioned, or anything like it. First psych i saw, asked me about suicide and did i have a plan. Told him what it was, and i wasn't sectioned even then. He was a good guy.... I think an experienced psych should be able to glean from what you say how much of a risk you are, or not.

Your psych wil not punish you for having bad thoughts. That's not what they do. You seem to be in an ok position in that you know that your brain has bad thoughts and overthinks stuff - you're aware that that is what it does, so you can tell her 'I know this is what i do', rather than not knowing you do it and thinking you're fine.

If that makes sense.......
 
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Rose19602

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#10
I've only seen her once so far and she stares at me and I find it scary being stared at because it's like she can see inside me - x ray vision type look :panic:

Oh for flip sake I'm about to freak out completely :panic:
Look, this is going ahead whether you panic or not, so try to breathe through it and distract....whatever works.
I felt the same way about my psych appointments. They are a bit daunting, but maybe there are a few things you can do.

Why don't you type or write down what you are comfortable telling her about how you are feeling.
If she's seen you before she'll want to know how you've been since and whether any meds she prescribed are working / helping.
If things have got worse or you have new symptoms write them down.
If you think a particular therapy or support would help write that down.

All of this will help to distract you and give you back some control, because you can plan what to say a bit.
Give it a try MidnightP.
Chip away at the fear and put it back in it's box.
x
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#11
I think they said there was going to be 2 psychs seeing me at the same time if I remember right - does that mean they going to lock me up? :eek:

The kitty in my avatar was an elderly girl, she died in 2008 (see my signature if you want to know the exact date)
 
speckles

speckles

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#12
of course Miss Kitty I'd like to think I am always right ;), but I suspect I am not, especially when it comes to myself. My cat also never thinks I am right in regards to her tapping my flowers and pulling them over, and we regularly have discussions about her not jumping into the fridge or pulling my clothes, and she is not listening to my advice on these matters!

I feel like I have seen loads of psych s, mostly those which see you as a one off, and I would say that they go from terrible and I mean bad, I was told once if my thoughts told me to die I needed to hurry up and do it, I also had a psych say you don't appear to be eating would you like us to alter the menu so you can have chips everyday, i pointed out I had an ed an he said what about chocolate biscuits! But I have seen some who have dealt with me really nicely and helpfully and go out of their way to try and make things better. I suspect really it is just like every other profession there are good and bad, it is just it shocking when they are bad because you think they ought to have more insight due to their career choice!

Midnight she might stare at you, she is probably just wants you to feel like she is focusing on what you are saying, if she didn't look at you it would be awkward. I assure that they cannot read your mind, I used to let my a level students think that I could read minds but really they cannot, they think very normal thoughts. I can assure you they are not an alien species, it is rather like pupils saying to me we saw you at the cinema at the weekend as if they think you live in the cupboard in the classroom - I know some psych s and they do very normal things, and you see them shouting at their kids just like everyone else - so don't be intimidated. Try and use some distraction strategies to stop you overthinking - overthinking now is not going to make any difference to tomorrows outcome.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#13
I'm scared :cry: Can I accidentally on purpose forget to go :cry: or will you all be angry with me :panic:
 
pepecat

pepecat

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#14
You can accidentally on purpose forget to go, but i hav a feeling you might end up being angry with yourself for not going. :)
It is scary. And it's ok to be scared. I probably would be too if it were me. But if you don't go, you may not get another appointment very easily, and your chance of help could be delayed.
 
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Rose19602

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#15
Hey, are you going to go to the appointment?
Let us know how you are and how it goes won't you.
I do feel for you, I've felt much the same - but try to think of it as just 15-20 mins of talk, then it's over.
Take in some notes and take a deep breath.
You WILL be ok I'm sure.
xxx
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#16
I've just got back in from the appointment - I thought it would never end (a lot of it was us repeating ourselves because it ended up with me only seeing the one psych but we couldn't understand each other very easily because she had a strong non-UK accent and I had to keep asking for her to repeat what she wanted me to answer and she kept asking me to repeat what I said. I've been put on some unpronouncable medication (and I can't spell it either) so I'll have to see how it goes. I need to unscramble my brain.
 
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Rose19602

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#17
Oh good...
I was thinking about you last night and how you might get on.
These things often seem to go past in a blur and you wonder what on earth went on....I think it's the anxiety. I'm much the same.
I try these days, (after therapy), to reflect on these two things after something like this:

a) what I was worried would happen
and
b) what actually did happen

Then the next time I can compare them and try to get my brain to digest the fact that most of the things I worried about didn't happen, and therefore probably won't next time either.

I know that sounds simple, but it seems to help me a little bit...and each time I feel a little more confident as a result and less convinced that something awful will happen.

Would that help you at all do you think, or was it as bad as you expected?

x
 
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ramboghettouk

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#18
I'm seeing my gp tomorrow psych closed case a few years ago telling me i was approaching the chronic stage of my illness, i said can you write to the dwp telling them that she said i won't lie to you some of my patients who i consider deserving have been turned down

said to gp once you can't section me you haven't the beds he said we can section you we'll find a bed i said ok then section me