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[jdoe123]

Hi ....I wanted to share the reason why I joined this forum. My husband has just been diagnosed with Bi Polar1 and also symptoms of Schitzophrenia which amounts to Schitzoaffective disorder. hhhhmm so there I finally said it...we have battling this(the symptoms) for years(20). He has been prescribed Geodone in the hospital and will not be released until tomorrow. I am a Psychology student and have been through the black shadows of debilitating depression. I am better and thankful that I am so I can help him. I sometimes don't think I can reach him..emotionally but that is normal I suppose. I am very worried about side effects of anti-psychotics like Geodone. I feel very very very alone in my struggle..even with him because he seems distant alot even before the meds. It helps me to know other people's stories who are non judgemental and accepting.

Thank You,

jdoe123

 

[saffron]

welcome Jdoe,

must be hard feeling so helpless, he is very lucky to have you there for him. is it a relief to know what you are dealing with now? or do you feel like you should be able to help him more. you are a psych student but he is not your client, be there for him at least he is around people who understand, dont forget you though, you have also gone through a lot and need comfort too, that way you can remain strong to be there for him.

my thoughts go out to you.
best wishes
S

 

[jdoe123]

yes, I feel I should help him more ...like I should fix it...although I know I can't. Helpless and under pressure as well to help him...but I can't...I have done all I can do. He has to take the meds....everyone has told him this...

 

[saffron]

just be there for him and empathize, that will be the best therapy, knowing that someone understands and will be there no matter what. yoiu are giving hem the best therapy anyway, support. but also try to give him a 'normal' life (what ever that means). sorry bablin again.
S

 

[Dollit]

I think that sometimes it's good to be in a position where you do feel powerless. Personally I'm convinced that I can fix anything just because I have knowledge - one of my closest friends used to be my GP and he says I can be a nightmare. So to be in that spot of powerlessness so that you know you can't do anything makes you let go a little and the mere act of letting go helps somehow.

 

[jdoe123]

Guilt

I feel guilty at the same time for wanting to let go, but a relief that it isn't my fault, responsibility or mission to "repair" him. He has to do it...not even the meds do it they just give you some breathing room to make the right decision. Come to think of it I am starting to see the black shadows of drowning depression myself...I feel like I am losing every battle each day with each of life's little let downs....They seem to be coming at me like the firing squad destined to bring me down. When do I get a break or when do I get to touch bottom and get my breath?

 

[Dollit]

If there's some sort of bipolar/schizophrenic fellowship where you live they will either have a relatives and carers group or will be able to point you in the wrong direction. It must be a terrible strain on you. I was ill as a sort of rebound from earlier in the year recently and R actually turned to me and said there were times when he wished he could stop loving me. And he is the calmest, can take anything kind of person.

 

[saffron]

Maybe you are focusing too much on the wrong thing, you need to think about yourself as well or you will be not be able help no matter how little, he can also see the strain you are under which I doubt is helping him either, could you not try to join some club that you could both do things together, remember to get help for yourself as well because you need the strength to be there for him, Im sure there is councellling sessions on your course. hope that makes sense.
best wshes
S