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School's stressing me out

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NordicGuy

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Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
46
School has been causing me a lot of stress and anxiety for quite some time now, and it is society's (and my own) expectations that are the driving force. As a former grade A student, there's a lot of pressure on me to keep on getting good grades, learning more and more, and making my parents proud. But I just can't seem to keep up with the fast pace of education anymore, and I have a complete lack of motivation and energy. I rarely do my homework, I don't do assignments on time, I skip classes, and as a result my grades are falling. Combined with the fact that I have no actual friends in school and shyness/anxiety keeps me from being active in class. I know it's not good enough and I beat myself down because of it, as grades means everything for my future. If I don't get good enough grades, I can't enter my desired education, thus pretty much ruining my life. I'm especially worried about math, which I may risk failing if the questions are too hard, and that closes practically all doors for me. All of this is just really demotivating and I don't know how to once again become that motivated grade A student I used to be.

That's quite a wall of text up there. No answers needed, I just had to write out these things to get it to leave my mind for a second. (PS: Is this even the right subforum?)
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi, I just wanted to say that I understand how difficult this is. I had very good grades and no issues whatsoever during high school or my bachelor's; stress was there, but not affecting me that much. And that changed during my master's.

I'll refrain from saying anything further, because you said no answers needed. So, I'm thinking maybe you need to process this all. But if you ever need to discuss this further, please know I'm here.
 
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NordicGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
46
Thanks for that. Yeah, I really just needed to get all of this out of my head and write it down. It's easier, in a way, to get an overview of a situation when writing it down. But I don't mind answers, so feel free to do so.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi NordicGuy, I understand what you're saying - writing things down can be helpful sometimes to put your thoughts in some order.

I just wanted to ask, does you school have any counselors, advisers, or something similar? Do you think it may be helpful to discuss with someone?

As I said, I experienced extreme stress at some point during my master's, and I felt I couldn't function. This was kind of a shock, because I didn't have issues performing under stress during high-school/bachelor's. I felt bad for that, beating myself up. And the more I was beating myself up, the more I couldn't study. It felt like a vicious cycle, that I couldn't escape from. And I was embarrassed to ask for help, because I used to be good. I was also thinking "what help could someone possibly offer me". I'm glad I did ask for help in the end though, and that played a big role in me finishing my master's.

I'm not sure how long this has been going for you; but if you feel it's long, and you don't know how to get out of this on your own, it might be worth it asking someone's help. Do you have any fun/relaxing activities during the day to clear your mind and un-stress?
 
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NordicGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
46
Yes, there are advisers, though I'm not sure if they deal with things such as stress. I'm already subtly mentioning it to my parents, but I don't want to make them worried, and as you say, it's kind of embarrassing. But yes, having a deeper conversation with someone about it would probably be a good idea.

I've been tired of and stressed about school for quite some time, and it's gradually worsened, but last week was actually better than the previous. Since New Year, I've been spending more of my free time on entertaining activities rather than school, and I think that's what's helping.
 
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Fruitloop

Guest
Don't give up. I know it's easier to say than do but it's something you've just got to do.

I never told anyone about my anxiety at school and ended up slipping deeper and deeper into a hole. Apart from 1 teacher and an adviser everyone else wrote me off. By the time I got help it was too late. Ended up getting kicked out as i had missed so much and it looked like I was bunking off to mess about.
Its an uphill battle if you have no education, takes years and years to get people to take you seriously.

I promise you its better to do something now while you still can. You've got your head screwed on enough to realise that you need a little help. Ask for all the help you can get. Head of years, student advisers, your teachers etc. There are always people there to help, you've just got to ask (again its easier to say than do). Nothing to be embarrassed about. Its more embarrassing telling people your a drop out than asking for a little help with your studies


Good luck
 
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