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Schizophrenia/form gone, still depressed (long)

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Wand2Top

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Hey everyone. I was diagnosed with schizophreniform during April of last year. The diagnosis was "thought disorder: brief psychotic disorder vs. schizophreniform. Doctors had also mentioned substance abuse because I used marijuana and alcohol regularly. I was also very depressed (after the diagnosis) and had severe anxiety, and I was prescribed paxil and clonazepam, as well as ziprazidone for schizophreniform or schizophrenia.

I took the medication prescribed and did not smoke weed for just shy of a year (started smoking weed again about 8 months into treatment). Clonazepam was phased out soon, as my anxiety subsided. I met an attractive girl on myspace but after meeting up she didn't end up liking me. I am assuming that it was because of the weight gain from paxil, as the photos on myspace were before I started taking the medication. Therefore, I tapered paxil out. I tapered the ziprazidone a few weeks afterwards, and was completely off of it by March 2 of April this year. I have not experienced any of the symptoms of schizophrenia ever since.

From the beginning of the diagnosis, my depression steadily decreased as time on paxil went by (I was severely depressed, loss of interest in everything.) My level of depression is the same now as it was when I was on the paxil before I got off of it. Though i'm not severely depressed as before, I still haven't recovered. My motivation is almost non existent. I used to regularly go to the gym, play racquetball, but no longer do I want to get out of bed now. I spend most of my time in bed or on the computer chair. I started the college semester with 4 classes, and dropped out of 3 because of lack of motivation. I smoke weed anywhere from 1-5 times a day. I just feel detached and like a way different person. I don't hygiene regularly like I did before. I have to be told to shave by my mother, when before I had a clean shave everyday. I rarely study, as where I studied religiously last year. My room is a mess and I only eat about 1-2 times a day, though my weight is still up from the medication. I just don't feel hungry.

Although my doctor mentioned that schizophrenia is genetic, I attribute mine to an accumulation of stress through out my life. My childhood wasn't the happiest one, I can go into further detail. I served 4 years in the U.S. Marines, two tours in Iraq which were stressful. After my first tour, I was sent to Japan where hardly any of the Marines had been to combat and I was stressed out to be around them because they had no sense of urgency. I had bottled adrenaline and I supplemented it with large amounts of alcohol on the weekends.

I'm sorry for the long post, but it is a complicated matter with much more detail involved. What now? I still smile and laugh with friends, but i'm unhappy. I'm reluctant to take medication. What can I do to return to my old motivated self? I will also try the depression forum, thanks.
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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Yeah well your one of the lucky ones who had the common sense to get off the things early and stop smoking cannabis. not too belittle your problems, it's gonna be a hard battle to avoid ending up back on the things and start feeling happy again. id say just keep plugging away and try to get motivated and push yourself to do more. i really do think medications will make things worst, but i know its hard being off of them because you dont have that security and it constantly worries you. maybe you could look into to some talking therapy, a exercise routine and a healthly diet might help aswell to relieve the depression.
 
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diddypinks

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hello there :welcome: of course you know that taking medication is the only way to get stable, i dont want to take these drugs but its the only way i can cope with it better to be a little overweight than phycotic of course smoking weed with schizophrenia is a very bad idea too youve described very well what it feels like to have this condition take care diddy
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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^there really not the only way to get stable. some people have what they would call "schizophrenia" or a chronic psychotic disorder for whatever reason and may not be able to live without the medications, either because they've been on them so long, drug abuse, because its too hard to get off of them, or because they've drawn a bad card, but there are people being prescibed these things that could and do recover without them and could have a better quality of life without them. i tell you what i felt when i had a bad experience on cannabis was nothing compared to what i felt when i first took an olanzapine. whats even worse because i took these things i lost all my common sense and good judgement which led to me abusing more drugs in a effort to stay social and feel happy again if they had allowed me to suffer and go through it i would have learnt not too smoke cannabis again instead they gave a junkie more drugs to take.
 
Star-28

Star-28

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Hello and welcome!! I thought I could go without medication, and I can for about three to four months, and then everything starts to sneak up on me again. I CANNOT smoke cannibis. I will go full blown psychotic. I used to as a teenager, but since I have been sick for the past five years I cant do any of that. I dont even smoke cigarettes or drink. I eat healthy and exercise, but still seem to be psychotic, so I know it's something to do with my brain, and not drugs etc...
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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That's kind of like my situation star. the longest i've managed is a couple months off of them and then i either recognise im not well myself or someone suggests i take one. the one time i really gave it a go and refused to take any medication no matter how delusional i got i had the worst episode of my life once i finally took a pill. i still think it's worth the risk though. i think it's just the rebound effect i still stand by the theory that if i allowed myself enough time off of the pills no matter how insane i become once my brain adjusted id eventually be ok i see it strictly as a chemicial thing thats not to say i believe this is caused by a chemical imbalance, but i do think a fucked up dopamine system will send you psychotic that i agree with.
 
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Wand2Top

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I've been off of the Paxil for about 3 months, and I feel about the same as I did when I was on it. I don't like Paxil and at one point, in the beginning of my treatment, it made my depression worse.

As for the schizophrenia, only about 2 days went by with schizophrenia before my treatment. So, I didn't have the symptoms for very long before treatment. I have been off of the meds for just shy of 2 months, and I haven't felt any kind of symptoms at all.

Marijuana has been given such a bad name. I consider it a relaxant rather than a drug, although i'm sure it doesn't help to have schizophrenia.

The question arises weather I even have schizophrenia anymore, but i'm still unmotivated and depressed.

Thanks for the help.
 
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diddypinks

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i believe that the reason people take meds is because they are suffering from a brain disorder and the ONLY WAY they csan get better is by taking antiphycotic medication schizophrenics tend to like to come off there meds and then all hell breaks loose some learn from it and others suffer on, life for an un mediacted sufferer is full of terror. as for cannbis it is not a relaxant for a schizophrenic it is pure poison todays dope is stronger and more potent most of the people admitted to phyciatrick wards have smoked it but they dont see a connection. it can actually cause schizophrenia so id say stay away from it diddy
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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Some would agree with you diddy. i personally think they've made me worse and i would have prefered a better alternative, but unfortunatly they are the only thing available. i see it as two separate problems theres the brain damage from the medication and then theres the illness itself and each are equally dangerous and im sure theres some interaction. the pills themselves have a very powerful placebo effect, and i think alot of the recovery process is do with the belief in the medication and that these things are making you better and if you dare go against that mode of thinking it can make things difficult for yourself psychologically and obviously you have to justify to your carers and doctors how somehow going mad again and not taking a "medication" is actually going to help you in the long run...especially when you fail to recoverand end up back on them again. i definatly attribute anything negative in terms of IQ decline, functioning and what have you to the medications and i've proven that to myself by allowing myself to get worse for 3-4 months and eventually getting better. also no one person is the same and not everyone ends up on these things for the same reasons. hope everythings well diddy.
 
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diddypinks

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thast ok intorspectionftw we can agree to disagree but for most people on this forum dont really need encouraging not to take meds diddy
 
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