Schizoaffective, PTSD, Bipolar with psychotic features, and a host of other non helpful labels

[catori]

Hello, I am 31 female mother of a 4 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl ( my only reasons for still being here). My mother suffered paranoia delusions etc overdosed at 48 I was 20 a week before my wedding..... which is ending after 10 years bc well shit I guess for sickness and health dont mean what they are supposed to mean...... Im bitter angry confused lonely pissed you name it I am it. I am a registered nurse well i was until i caught heroin charges a couples years ago....dcs battle custody battle divorce my life has literally come to a neck breaking halt i hear my name called i hear other shit i see shadows ive been so drugged i couldnt lift my body off the couch beeen hospitilized 3x the past 3 years been molested been raped maybe a better way to start is what i havent been.... loved, respected, honored, cherished all that bullshit that is supposed to make us normal........ im angry and no i dont give a shit who has it worse this is about me point blank i have to cope without drugs or die but i would really prefer to get to a point where im good pipe dream? advice ? no pity no im sorries just information what works for the rest of you

 

[calypso]

to the forum. You have been through the ringer haven't you? I have found a cocktail of meds has helped me through my worst times but also therapy which gave me insights and techniques to self heal. Have you got a rehab centre near you that can help with the heroin addiction? I think you said that you were addicted, I wasn't clear.

You say you have a custody battle, how many children do you have and how old are they? I'm really interested. I can't come up with a cure obviously, but I can listen if that helps. I hope others will be along soon to help.

 

[GhostOfLenin]

The day you choose to change it is a big day. Coming on here and talking is a big day. People like us live a day at a time. Make a day for the doc, thats a a big day. Get meds, another big day. Keep at it. Any goal at a time. Each day is a blessing xx

 

[catori]

to the forum. You have been through the ringer haven't you? I have found a cocktail of meds has helped me through my worst times but also therapy which gave me insights and techniques to self heal. Have you got a rehab centre near you that can help with the heroin addiction? I think you said that you were addicted, I wasn't clear.

You say you have a custody battle, how many children do you have and how old are they? I'm really interested. I can't come up with a cure obviously, but I can listen if that helps. I hope others will be along soon to help.

2 kids 4 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl....... been clean from heroin for a yr now off and on use of amphetamines but nothing made it all better like heroin im 5'8 i weighed 103lbs when they put me in jail 2 yrsa ago im facing a hair follicle tomorrow but i was sober for like 7 months and now that ive been fucking up they wanna hair follicle if i cant have my kids i feel like there is no point in being here ive tried lithium, aristata, abilify, i take suboxone to keep me off opiates like heroin but benzos is where its at for me ......i just want to numb bc im smart enough to differentiate a hallucination from a real noise im not scared of the shadows any more nor the voices and i know when its time to go to the hospital.......so crazy but sane id rather just be fucking nuts

 

[calypso]

Hiya. I'm not sure what you mean about hair follicle, can you help me understand? What lovely ages the children are. Congratulations on being off heroin for so long. Do you mean they are going to check if you are on drugs again? I think I just worked it out.

Are you under a psychiatrist who can help you. I too get hallucinations and can now differentiate between what is real and what isn't - I think. I understand wanting to be numb, sometimes it feels better doesn't it? I know when I was really ill that is all I wanted too. To stop everything and just be at peace with myself. You sound as though you are actually doing quite well actually but just feel perhaps that you have let yourself down. I think perhaps you shouldn't be too hard on yourself, you have done so much so far!

 

[Zero One]

Hello and welcome. I also have schizoaffective, bipolar I and PTSD.

 

[natalie]

Hi Catori,

I'm sorry to have read what you have been through. Welcome aboard, to MHF.


What works for me, for szchioaffective problems, I am in London UK by the way, I have been on medication since 2007, though at first since what with travelling to US.of A, for holidays/vacation trips, land based air vacations/holidays mainly, my lower doseages were not happy for paranoia and intrusive reactions problems, which I had problems of american style of problems, sorry folks, this is how i suffered, back in London, during 30 odd years here and there travel to the US on hollidays, since I have been more resetled, in London, from about a couple of years, my mental health of paranoia and intrusive reactions, have become greatly improved and very much better.


Also, listening to music and knitting,


and working out fitness dvds on a regular basis.


Have a good day over there, in Tennesse,


Best regards all,


Natalie.