scared

K

kcsmith

New member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2
#1
I have been suffering from anxiety since I was about 11 or 12. This started when my parents split up. On and off throughout my life my anxiety has come back and then gone away. I am currently 24; I moved away from home at 20 and got married to the man of my dreams. for the first year everything was fine even though I was half way across the world from home, but about a year into being over here in Japan my anxiety started up again. I was so sure my husband was cheating on me. So sure of myself making myself go crazy looking for evidence but finding no real proof. Since then I have gone on about 2 year with no mental health help and suffering from it and needing it so bad. Getting worse and worse every month it seemed. I had taken prozac for two months before we moved to Japan and then felt fine and go off of it. Now we are getting ready to move back to the U.S. and I felt comfortable to tell a doctor because I couldn't take my anxiety anymore. He started me on Cellexa three days ago. The first day I was slightly anxious and then the second day (yesterday) I felt more anxious and pretty depressed. Like I felt as if I could die and not care. I kinda felt like I was going crazy. My mind is very good at convincing me of things. Note before getting on the medication I was terrified of death and thought about it multiple times a day. Constantly worrying if my loved ones were okay and worrying if I drive to fast to work when I'm late that I will die. Now its like I have no care if I die. I don't know why but I feel kinda numb to the thought of it. I was even looking up what is the point of living yesterday. So naturally I got off the medication. Toady would have been the third day but I told my doctor and he gave me prozac instead but I have not taken it yet.. Im scared that this medication is making me have no feelings or being numb to life. I just feel off and I don't know why. Please if someone has some helpful inside I need some reassurance. I don't know whats going on and Im scared. I have nothing to really worry about. I am worried about the big changes coming up in my life but why do I no longer care if Im alive or not? Someone who once thought about death multiple days in such worry now doesn't seem to care??? What does this all mean?
 
Liza9560

Liza9560

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
104
Location
Texas
#2
Hello, KC—

After reading your post, my first thought is that you didn’t give the antidepressant enough time to work and for your body to become accustomed to it, but I understand that you did not want to feel that way!

I felt those feelings, like I could just go away, and it wouldn’t matter, one summer, when I was on a birth control pill that was heavy on the progestin. Thankfully, they (and other yucky, scary thoughts) went away upon tossing those pills in the trash. Since then, there have been other instances of my depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts that have arisen. I’ve recently increased my Zoloft dosage as directed by my dr, and I’m feeling better. I feel like your brain’s been marinating in too much stress hormones, to put it in layman’s terms.

Try this book: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: 7 Ways to Freedom from Anxiety, Depression, & Intrusive Thoughts, by Lawrence Wallace. It may give you some solutions to quiet your thoughts. Also, search YouTubefor videos on intrusive thoughts. There are lots of people who suffer from them, and their videos ha e helped me lots.

Feel better!
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
203
Location
Locked inside myself in the UK
#3
How long have you used the meds? If you been on them long enough, sounds like they're not working for you, talk to the doctor if that's the case and see about changing them again if you been on them for a while :hug:
 
B

Bill_01773

New member
Joined
Jan 21, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Boston, MA, USA
#4
Dear KC: I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time!

It sounds like you were/are experiencing some of the most common side effects from Celexa: agitation, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and others. You'll find this on drugs.com. From what I can see it's primarily an antidepressant, not primarily for anxiety, which is what you describe as your symptoms.

But there is good news: you took Prozac for two months and felt better. That is strong evidence that if you're on the right meds, you'll feel much better. And it suggests that Prozac should help. (Prozac is used to treat depression and/or anxiety.)

It's hard to see things clearly right now, and that includes your decision about your medication. But perhaps you should consider what has worked in the past, and give Prozac a try or talk to your doctor about your reluctance.

Is he or she a doctor, a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist? It would be best to see a psychiatrist because they specialize in psych meds. And a psychotherapist can help you gain coping skills that complement the meds.

While you're waiting for an effect, you're going to need to find ways to distract yourself from your anxiety. I can't tell you what the right one is for you, but generic ones are anything physically active, watching familiar calming movies or TV shows you grew up with on NetFlix, going to parks or calming, familiar places for you.

What you are experiencing is very painful and hard -- but you will come out of it a different person once you've crossed over to the other side. Hang in there.
 
S

Snflwrgrl

New member
Joined
Jun 6, 2018
Messages
3
#5
I have been suffering from anxiety since I was about 11 or 12. This started when my parents split up. On and off throughout my life my anxiety has come back and then gone away. I am currently 24; I moved away from home at 20 and got married to the man of my dreams. for the first year everything was fine even though I was half way across the world from home, but about a year into being over here in Japan my anxiety started up again. I was so sure my husband was cheating on me. So sure of myself making myself go crazy looking for evidence but finding no real proof. Since then I have gone on about 2 year with no mental health help and suffering from it and needing it so bad. Getting worse and worse every month it seemed. I had taken prozac for two months before we moved to Japan and then felt fine and go off of it. Now we are getting ready to move back to the U.S. and I felt comfortable to tell a doctor because I couldn't take my anxiety anymore. He started me on Cellexa three days ago. The first day I was slightly anxious and then the second day (yesterday) I felt more anxious and pretty depressed. Like I felt as if I could die and not care. I kinda felt like I was going crazy. My mind is very good at convincing me of things. Note before getting on the medication I was terrified of death and thought about it multiple times a day. Constantly worrying if my loved ones were okay and worrying if I drive to fast to work when I'm late that I will die. Now its like I have no care if I die. I don't know why but I feel kinda numb to the thought of it. I was even looking up what is the point of living yesterday. So naturally I got off the medication. Toady would have been the third day but I told my doctor and he gave me prozac instead but I have not taken it yet.. Im scared that this medication is making me have no feelings or being numb to life. I just feel off and I don't know why. Please if someone has some helpful inside I need some reassurance. I don't know whats going on and Im scared. I have nothing to really worry about. I am worried about the big changes coming up in my life but why do I no longer care if Im alive or not? Someone who once thought about death multiple days in such worry now doesn't seem to care??? What does this all mean?
Anxiety is a terrible feeling. I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with this for so long. I’m glad you knew enough to get off the first medication and I’m glad you reached out!! Have you considered talking to your doctor about the new medication and how you are feeling like you don’t care? I encourage you to. <3 I had severe anxiety after my first child was born and my husband and I’s relationship was under a lot of stress. We talked to our pastor and we saw a Christian counselor. Do you and your husband have anyone like that in your life that you can talk to? The counselor had me go through an anxiety workbook. It taught me how to talk myself down when I first felt an anxiety attack coming on. It really helped me to get control of my anxiety and, although I still have a little anxiety from time to time, I no longer have the full-blown anxiety attacks. A workbook may help you too. :) I’ll be praying for God’s guidance for you and that you are feeling better soon. Hugs!