I have been suffering from anxiety since I was about 11 or 12. This started when my parents split up. On and off throughout my life my anxiety has come back and then gone away. I am currently 24; I moved away from home at 20 and got married to the man of my dreams. for the first year everything was fine even though I was half way across the world from home, but about a year into being over here in Japan my anxiety started up again. I was so sure my husband was cheating on me. So sure of myself making myself go crazy looking for evidence but finding no real proof. Since then I have gone on about 2 year with no mental health help and suffering from it and needing it so bad. Getting worse and worse every month it seemed. I had taken prozac for two months before we moved to Japan and then felt fine and go off of it. Now we are getting ready to move back to the U.S. and I felt comfortable to tell a doctor because I couldn't take my anxiety anymore. He started me on Cellexa three days ago. The first day I was slightly anxious and then the second day (yesterday) I felt more anxious and pretty depressed. Like I felt as if I could die and not care. I kinda felt like I was going crazy. My mind is very good at convincing me of things. Note before getting on the medication I was terrified of death and thought about it multiple times a day. Constantly worrying if my loved ones were okay and worrying if I drive to fast to work when I'm late that I will die. Now its like I have no care if I die. I don't know why but I feel kinda numb to the thought of it. I was even looking up what is the point of living yesterday. So naturally I got off the medication. Toady would have been the third day but I told my doctor and he gave me prozac instead but I have not taken it yet.. Im scared that this medication is making me have no feelings or being numb to life. I just feel off and I don't know why. Please if someone has some helpful inside I need some reassurance. I don't know whats going on and Im scared. I have nothing to really worry about. I am worried about the big changes coming up in my life but why do I no longer care if Im alive or not? Someone who once thought about death multiple days in such worry now doesn't seem to care??? What does this all mean?