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scared!!

tigerfish

tigerfish

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Jan 26, 2012
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In a living nightmare!!
I don't know what is happening to me!! I am so frightened I am beside myself right now!!
Counselling has literally just started and is overwhelmingly painful, Family problems, A close friend passed away on Sunday (feeling guilty about this because I am remembering my best friend dying as well) Very tearful and vulnerable. Lastly, trying so hard not to S/H when really that is the only thing I want to do and it's driving me nuts!! I want to soooooo badly!! Anyone help slow this down, please? :scared:
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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The Prancing Pony
Sorry tigerfish. It sounds like a difficult time for you at the moment. Its not your fault - so don't hurt yourself. :hug:
 
tigerfish

tigerfish

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Jan 26, 2012
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In a living nightmare!!
I am so much better at dealing with physical pain than I am with this emotional stuff!! I am totally freaked out with it all!! It hurts deeper than any self inflicted wound I have ever had!! I am out of my comfort zone and its worrying!! I thought I would be ok, but I'm not!! I am concerned that if I S/H, the therapy would stop and I have waited a very long time for it to be available for me!! I don't want to mess up before it's really started!! BUT I am struggling with it!! I don't know what to do?
 
H

Helena1

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maybe water but i dont think alcohol is a good idea!

does the therapist know you self harm? i would tell her that you are struggling with what the therapy is bring up for you, she could help you or take things slower if that could be better.
 
tigerfish

tigerfish

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In a living nightmare!!
I have several very bad scars that are unmistakable!! I did talk to the therapist about it, but to be honest I can't remember what was exactly said about it because I was so nervous about the whole thing!! She seemed nice enough, but I don't actually recall any suggestions on how to cope with anything!! She may have told me, I just don't remember? I see her again in 2 weeks time!! My friends funeral takes place next week and it's constantly playing on my mind!! Am pre-occupied with a lot of unanswered questions and fears about the whole death thing?
 
H

Helena1

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maybe you could ask to record the sessions, i dont know if that is allowed. but always used to forget it all too.
 
tigerfish

tigerfish

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Jan 26, 2012
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698
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In a living nightmare!!
I don't know, but thank you for the suggestion!! I will talk to her about that!! I will make a note of it!! Everything is a panic right now!!
 

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