• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

scared

A

amyvarley1

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
2
i havent spoke to my mum or sisters for 6 years i gotkicked out becausemy stepdad abused me and i went out one weekend near my 18th birthday. ive tried to reconcile so many times ove the years but no change with her she doesnt acknowledge my existance. my dad only began a real relationship with me when i went uni he wouldnt let me live with him when i got kicked out i relied on friends sofas until i found a flat, now he facebooks me just gives me money when i need it my nan is not supportive of anything in my life i turned to drugs for a long while to self medicate. i have this overwhelming sense of belongingless i want everyone to like me so il do anything for them and then my boyfriend gets left out ive always got a back up plan because in my heads hes leaving me even though he has stuck by me for 3 years and i have a 1 year old baby. ive seen the symptoms of personality disorder and eveything is me, im losing my boyfriend through all of this i upset him all the time and i feel like im just a negative energy to this earth and dont want to keep hurting people. has anyone got any advice to save me i feel like my life is sand slipping though my fingers and i cant catch it and im going to lose him and my aughter and actually belong no where. the fear takes over, rejection etc. im on 40mg a day of fluxotine atm but its not 100%. has anyone got advice from an outside point of view, and im scared the family support workers will take our baby if i talk to a dcotor. i cant talk about my feelings and everyone thinks im a psycho as it is. please help
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
Location
under the Forum Troll bridge
Hi amy :welcome: to the forum

I am sorry you have been through so much crap in your life, you have had a really hard time and not been supported by your family I can see why you would turn to drugs to block out the pain :hug:

I think when we have been through these traumas it can make us feel insecure so it is understandable you don't feel too good about yourself and are scared of losing someone who has shown you love and care both your boyfriend and then worrying your baby will be taken from you.

Can I ask though doesn't your doctor already know about your distress as s/he has prescribed you prozac? Or is it that you are worried you will get a PD diagnosis and that will go against you?

Some people find thinking of themselves in terms of having a PD is helpful to them but not everyone does, you can get counselling/therapy to deal with your issues without ever mentioning that you think you have a PD, just working on whatever it is you feel you struggle with, like self-esteem, people pleasing and so on. There are some counsellors that do low cost therapy for people on a low income, so if you really didn't' want to go via your GP you could contact one of them and see if they could offer you low cost therapy?

The BACP website should be able to help you find one, or a charity such as Mind.

BACP Find a Therapist - Counselling and psychotherapy | It's good to talk

Hope you find it helpful on here as well xx
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 1, 2014
Messages
3,652
Location
here
:hi: amyvarley1 and welcome to the forum.

i hope you continue to find support on here.
 
A

amyvarley1

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
2
no i havent told gp my friend whos a psychologist said to me. theres alot of family suppot workers involved and theyve said its a step under social care for her being a child in danger and being taken off me im so scared i dont ant to tell the gp but ive tried ciatroplam sertalline and they mae me really ill so im on prozac and i think its working properly even though im on such a high dosage i still struggle to get up and theyve said theyre going to start weighing me because ive gone under 6 stone i dont want them to know because they get on top of me they turn up unnanounced and make me anxious and my health viitor said to me "now that youve had a child and you have this bond with vivienne mother daughter, how you feeling about your mum" theyre just insensitive and make me anxious. thank you so much for replying its made my day someone wants to help i dont have anyone apart from my boyfriend to talk to and weve been on bad terms
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
Location
under the Forum Troll bridge
That must be really scary for you, it's enough pressure having a young child without them carrying on like that. :hug:

Is it your friend who is the psychologist who suggested you might have a PD?

Is it your GP who prescribed the prozac for you? So do they think you are depressed, or was that for postnatal depression?

I'm not a parent myself so I don't know how these things work, but I think if you are seen to be co-operating with them, they are less likely to want to take action. But sounds like it would be helpful for you to get some other source of support, that is not to do with them. Then you can open up without having to feel scared of the consequences.

Are there any support groups in the area, that are not linked to services? Somewhere like Mind would be able to tell you.

Have you found the prozac is affecting your appetite weight, or do you have an ED? As you can get support for EDs from somewhere like B-eat or Overeaters Anonymous (its not just for overeaters it helps anyone with an ED).

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone and scared with it all :hug:
 
Top