- Apr 23, 2015
I'm new here. Hi everyone. Before I begin I'm in therapy and I take 30 mg of Celexa and Klonopin. I was on disability for about 5 years but I got kicked off in 2014. I'm suffering with anxiety and depression. I'm 34 and I have had these issues since I was about 17. I'm mostly afraid of how I will support myself financially. I work part time at a minimum wage job now. I've never made it beyond that. My anxiety has kept me from finishing my early childhood Ed degree. I also don't drive because of anxiety. I feel scared and hopeless. I have crying fits just about everyday. Suicidal thoughts pop in my mind but I won't do it...too scared, to heart breaking to think of it. My klonopin helps relax me. I wanted to try and get a new job. I work with kids now at an after school program and I'm getting tired of the procedures I have to follow. Maybe my negative mental filter is making it worse? I am applying to work at the same place for summer camp so I'll at least have something lined up. I also just sent a resume to a consignment shop. I'm afraid of taking on something new because my anxiety is making me very fragile. What if the job is seasonal? I need long term. What if it's not enough hours? What if I freak out at this new job and quit and then have no job. I'm so scared about 80 percent of the time. My anxiety traps me so much. My quality of life would be beautiful and amazing if I didn't suffer these fretting thoughts. I have always wanted to connect to people like me. Is there anybody out there. Big strong hugs to you if you are out there and hurting like me.