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Scared what psychiatrist will do

SarahD

SarahD

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I have had mental health problems since I was young, but coped (not always very well) by myself. Three years ago I unfortunately tried to get help from GP, then mental health service, have been in hospital several times, gone through several diagnoses, by agreement tried a lot of medications mostly without any positive effect and suffered a lot of bad side effects, including some serious. I came off drugs six months ago.

Psych not happy about it. I am unwell, quite psychotic and have been suicidal. The trouble is the drugs have damaged me and I don't want to go back on them in case they make the damage worse. Psych holding off for the moment, but has mentioned hospital. I am very scared I will be forced back on the drugs. I want to try a different approach. How can I escape mental health service?

Should I accept the drugs and pretend to take them? Or just pretend I am better? Any other ideas? Thanks.
 
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Christobel

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I don't know if there is an easy answer to this problem. In spite of what your psych says, in the end it is your mind and body. I have found that it is very difficult to pretend to be well when seeing a psych. They can see through you straight away. After all observation is nine-tenths of their job. I have had this problem with medication, but in my case let the psych decide what was best.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Thanks for you reply Christobel. I agree it is my mind and body, and I don't want to take the drugs. I even made an Advance Decision document stating that, and the doctors have to respect it. Unless they section you, when they can overrule it and force you to take the drugs. That is what I am scared of.

I just think I dealt with it all my life by myself. They haven't been able to help me, and have harmed me. They should let me decide what to do.

The psychiatrist is nice enough, but ruthless. She totally believes in the drugs. Wish I could disappear.
 
R

Rose19602

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I really feel for you Sarah and have experienced similar effects and fear of the drugs.

I can't honestly say that I don't know what to advise.
I left MH services with similar fears....

The suicidality and psychosis are concerns. Trouble is being afraid of the psych, hospitalisation and treatment is going to make you worse, because stress and fear will feed it. You need to calm down and stop yourself from going over the edge.

Are there any drugs you would accept in a low dose? I accepted low dose ADs when I got suicidal....they worked enough to bring me "down" a bit and I then got the help of a therapist privately which calmed my fears.

Don't know if any of this would help or whether your symptoms are more serious and further down the line?
You could ask for a different psych? Although most of them believe in the drugs....and if you are considered psychotic I don't know if they would help.

Are you likely to be sectioned do you think?

Could you discuss "lesser" drugs with the psych and take something to calm the situation?

I'm grasping at straws here Sarah....I really know how you feel.

:hug1:
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Thanks for your suggestions MissKitty.

I have tried a lot of drugs in the past, everything they suggested. Antipsychotics help the psychosis a bit, but have caused serious damage. Antidepressants don't help, and with one of them every time they raised the dose I went into a mixed episode (before finding current diagnosis). ADs aren't offered any more although depression is worst symptom. Mood stabilisers had very bad side effects and no good ones.

Although I am psychotic I don't completely lose touch with reality. I am not dangerous and I don't cause trouble to anyone. I don't like psychotic symptoms but would rather deal with them by myself. There is a lot of alternative info on how to,deal with voices and delusions.

I am seen as high risk for suicide. However I have dealt with this since a young age and am still alive. I am spectacularly bad at managing to kill myself. I think I am more likely to be harmed by the drugs than to harm myself.

My Advance Decision not to take the drugs counts as a refusal, and unless I change my mind they could section me. This had been said in an indirect way a couple of times, and I think it could happen quite soon. Then in hospital I would have to take them or be made to.

I don't think changing psych would make much difference, if it was possible. They all believe in the drugs and that they know best. I do have very valid reasons (backed up by studies) for not taking the drugs, but they know best!

You are right I need to calm down about this, try and think things out. May buy more time if I take benzodiazepines, but don't want to. However, they couldn't tell if I was taking them or not, and I could say I felt calmer, was sleeping etc. May try that. Thanks.
 
R

Rose19602

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Alternatives can work....I agree with you there. It just depends how far down the line you are?
Being suicidal is a concern Sarah. I know you're still alive...and I'm pleased that you're bad at it....but take care with this eh?

I had paranoia and delusions on a steroid...so have a little insight into how it feels. I've since felt myself getting confused and a little out of it at times when lacking in sleep and stressed. This isn't the same I know, but bed/warmth, calm, peace and quiet and treating yourself gently are all helpful....as I'm sure you know. Hospital, of course, will not provide any of that.....and I agree again, that drugs will likely be the treatment of choice. Do you have any say on dose....that might make a difference?

My argument to my GP used to be, "give me the lowest possible dose, I know it's not what you want to do, but it will build up in my system (ADs do this, don't know about antipsychotics?) and I will wait it out until things improve. This used to work for me, but things were a bit hairy at first, especially as I would often feel worse initially. Could this work for you?

It's very hard to accept drugs that have harmed you. I felt the same way when severely depressed and I was offered the drug that had harmed me too! I was terrified when it was suggested again! The benzo might help for some temporary relief. The best of a bad lot for now perhaps? It's personal, and you know your body best.

Could something like NightNurse, that knocks you out for the night, be effective in gaining some sleep which might help? Please keep to the OTC dosage instructions though.

How bad is the suicidality....made plans? bought anything? .... no specifics allowed on here, but give me an idea perhaps?

If talking will help bring you down a bit from the anxiety, use this thread. I'll keep an eye on you if you like?

Hang in there.
x



H
 
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SarahD

SarahD

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Thanks MissKitty and Nikita for telling me about your experiences, and for your advice. It's given me some things to think about. Just need to think a bit more.

Re suicide, I can't really talk about it when things are bad. At that point I can't ask for help.

The thing that annoys me is they knew it was going to be a difficult period for me and promised extra support, which they then forgot about. Ah well, I suppose it probably wouldn't have changed things.

I'm not going to let them force me.

Thanks again for your help.
 
R

Rose19602

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Hmmm....not supporting you through a difficult period, when flagged up, does sound like you have some grounds for standing firm on the drugs. However, situations go past blame when you get to the point of suicidal thoughts don't they? You have to deal with it somehow....and I hope you can do this.

I think I'm out of suggestions to be fair, but I hope you'll carry on speaking to us if it helps you. We don't have to talk about suicidal plans etc. but it would be good for you to vent here and keep us close perhaps?

We're here for you.

take care Sarah.
x
 

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