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Scared that I’m isolating myself...

L

LostGirl1987

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So since my disastrous New Years Eve, I’ve actually been doing a lot better. I’m exercising every day, practicing self care, social distancing etc and have been doing really well overall. However, I’m reaching a point emotionally where I’m really conflicted about whether I’m just isolating myself by focusing on myself. Granted, it is my time of the month and this always causes major anxiety and depression for me, but I feel like I’m losing touch with reality by avoiding social media etc.

So I have this friend who always wants to see me, and is constantly asking when I’m free. I’ve seen her a few times just to go for walks and stuff (and I’m very aware that we shouldn’t be meeting up) but it’s getting a little much because there’s nothing to talk about and I’m finding it a little exhausting. Somebody I know had a tragic death in the family recently due to COVID and I’m honestly pretty shaken up about it, so have been trying to socially distance even more. Not to say that I wasn’t worried about it before, but this was kind of a reality check if that makes sense.

Anyway, this friend has always been pretty relentless when it comes to seeing me, and there are only so many excuses I can make up. However when I voice my concerns to my mother I.e. social distancing etc she practically tells me that I do need to keep meeting up with her because she’s one of the only friends I’ve got and that I shouldn’t alienate myself from her. Whenever my mum reminds me of how lonely I actually am I get really sad because I am scared that focusing on myself and following lockdown guidelines will get me isolated emotionally, because what if they all start meeting up without me and not including me?

Honestly my head is all over the place and I don’t really know where to go from here. I feel so terrible that I’m not talking to many people at the moment but then they’re not really talking to me either? I feel like I’m being pressured into seeing this friend who I do care about very much, but it’s getting to the point where not only are we not social distancing but quite frankly I’m dreading it because there is nothing to talk about.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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How often do you meet up with this friend?
I would happily meet someone once a week. You don't need to talk much, or you can let her talk, but it is company and you can meet, take a coffee each, an hour.

I don't know about covid rules at the moment though.

I think your mum is right to keep meeting up, plus she seems to like being with you and maybe needs to see you.
 
A

Aurin

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Some city
It seems that you don't have many friends. So maybe you could try to meet your friend one in a while. You could try to meet with her in a open space, like a park, that is more empty, using proper precautions.
When was the last time you saw your friend? What you used to talk about?

Maybe find a middle ground.

As someone who does not have any friends, if I'm being honest with myself, I know how being lonely can be.
I think I spent to much time isolating myself, that talking with other people causes me anxiety.
It got to a point that I enjoy being completely alone, just having to deal with anyone is a causes me anxiety.
 
L

LostGirl1987

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Joined
Oct 19, 2020
Messages
200
Location
United Kingdom
How often do you meet up with this friend?
I would happily meet someone once a week. You don't need to talk much, or you can let her talk, but it is company and you can meet, take a coffee each, an hour.

I don't know about covid rules at the moment though.

I think your mum is right to keep meeting up, plus she seems to like being with you and maybe needs to see you.
Hi there, I see her about once a week so not too much, but it can feel like a lot sometimes depending on my work etc (I’m working from home practically seven days a week) so that may be a big reason why I’ve not wanted to go out much as the stress of work has been piling up recently. I definitely see what my mums saying and you’re right she’s a good friend and I wouldn’t change anything, I guess I’m just trying to find that balance of focusing on me while also not isolating myself
 
L

LostGirl1987

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2020
Messages
200
Location
United Kingdom
It seems that you don't have many friends. So maybe you could try to meet your friend one in a while. You could try to meet with her in a open space, like a park, that is more empty, using proper precautions.
When was the last time you saw your friend? What you used to talk about?

Maybe find a middle ground.

As someone who does not have any friends, if I'm being honest with myself, I know how being lonely can be.
I think I spent to much time isolating myself, that talking with other people causes me anxiety.
It got to a point that I enjoy being completely alone, just having to deal with anyone is a causes me anxiety.
Hi there, I do sometimes worry that all this time spent at home is just slowly alienating me from real life. I’ve been trying to learn to be comfortable in my own company without getting lost in my intrusive thoughts. So far it’s been going okay, but I’ve also unintentionally avoided socialising due to a recent breakup I guess you could call it, and working from home has really been stressing me out. I will definitely try to see my friend and go for more walks with her, I just sometimes find it hard to keep a conversation going, especially when there’s not much to really discuss you know?
 
A

Aurin

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Joined
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Messages
31
Location
Some city
Hi there, I do sometimes worry that all this time spent at home is just slowly alienating me from real life. I’ve been trying to learn to be comfortable in my own company without getting lost in my intrusive thoughts. So far it’s been going okay, but I’ve also unintentionally avoided socialising due to a recent breakup I guess you could call it, and working from home has really been stressing me out. I will definitely try to see my friend and go for more walks with her, I just sometimes find it hard to keep a conversation going, especially when there’s not much to really discuss you know?
I don't think necessarily that staying at home alienates someone, as long at the person is aware of the world outside. Maybe I'm just speaking about my perspective.(I do spend a LOT of time at home, specially during this current time.) But I guess that it does makes dealing with outside problems a little more stressful. Idk.

Being alone grows on you after a awhile. But the question is if YOU is okay on being alone. For a while I was angry because of it. But I'm at peace, I guess, now.

I find kind of funny how sometimes working from home makes the person work more somehow. Are you doing any hobby or doing something to distract yourself? Maybe you are feeling this way because of the current stress?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Maybe you could meet less often? Fortnightly?
 
L

LostGirl1987

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Location
United Kingdom
I don't think necessarily that staying at home alienates someone, as long at the person is aware of the world outside. Maybe I'm just speaking about my perspective.(I do spend a LOT of time at home, specially during this current time.) But I guess that it does makes dealing with outside problems a little more stressful. Idk.

Being alone grows on you after a awhile. But the question is if YOU is okay on being alone. For a while I was angry because of it. But I'm at peace, I guess, now.

I find kind of funny how sometimes working from home makes the person work more somehow. Are you doing any hobby or doing something to distract yourself? Maybe you are feeling this way because of the current stress?
Thank you so much 😊 I think sometimes I just worry for the sake of worrying, but I saw my counsellor the other day which helped a lot. I’ve definitely been trying to focus on other things like reading, going for walks etc which are pretty good distractions 😊
 
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