scared / over excited, sickness

[matty15]

hi i am new to this site but have come here hoping someone can help me!
i am a 20 year old male and have a general anxiety disorder. i have had this all of my life but it has been at its worst for the past three years.

i have recieved treatment etc and have now managed to get my life back to some normality thanks to family and help from the nhs.

i have one problem though at the moment and find it hard to talk to people that havent suffered from anxiety as they dont understand. i am going to try and explain my problem as best as i can, i hope it doesnt sound strange!

i havent really had a proper relationship, but it is something i would like. i am scared of making a move incase i get re jected and feel bad, but my main problem is if i know someone likes me and there may be a chance of a kiss or prehaps sex, i suddenly get very anxious to the point where i have to be sick to relieve this.

i am missing out on people that like me because i am scared of making a fool of myself and can never see me finding someone at the moment let alone being able to have sex with some one.

I think one of the problems is pressure from friends etc. i hope this doesnt sound strange and that some one else feels the same.

Matt

 

[iffybob]

Hi

I think what you describe is a normal feeling at your age for a lot of people, but yours is just more extream.

Everybody gets rejected, that is normal, and we all feel bad about being rejected , that is normal. You have to learn to deal with it the best you can like the rest of us ....... sorry.

I suggest that if you meet a nice person, get to know them first, become comfortable around them, dont put pressure on yourself, or allow any other people to put any presure on you about how far you should go and when.

If you do find a person you wish to take thing further with, decuse what you feel, and that you want to take things at your own pace, if they like you enough they will be happy to accommadate this.

and if you do throw up, brush you teeth after , and then pick yourself up.

I think with some experience and the confidence that goes with it, you will get past what you feel and your responces.

........ and use a condom..........

Good luck ........ boB ..........

 

[jamesdean]

Bob's pretty much rounded your post,you wouldnt beleive I worked the bars n had my own retaurant yet I was a nervous wreck when it come to meeting people once I shivered almost to death when I meet this one person n it wasnt even cold (it was my nerves but I didnt dare tell him) in his house I was a nervous wreck.I have thrown up n allsort s at alltimes I didnt even know it was soicalalble anxiety because all my conditions were so mixed upin my head always.

 

[matty15]

yeah i think bob is right, thank you. if i find the right person for me then they will understand... and if they dont then they are not the right person!

i understand when you say to get to know them first, this is what i did in my previous relationship. i find the only place i meet new girls are in clubs though and it seem to me that you have to kiss them for them to be interested in you.

i also agree when you say not to feel under pressure from other people. one thing i have learnt from my mental illness is to do what i think is right and what makes me happy - trying to live up to other people expectations and trying to follow the crowd only puts pressure on my self.

thanks Bob!

 

[iffybob]

Never

No you will never make every body happy any time, let alone all the time, best you can do is try not to hurt any one........

i find the only place i meet new girls are in clubs though and it seem to me that you have to kiss

You could try talking to them, and give them you phone number and tell them if they want to call its up to them.....?

( Cant belive "I" am giving relationship advice ........ )

Anyway all the best , good luck ..... boB ....

 

[Lion Heart]

hello matty15,once apon a time not so long ago i was just like you,when it came to anything to do with sex or kissing i would just freeze,like i could not even talk,even being alone with a girl would do me in,what you are feeling is normal mate & you will overcome it when the time is right i promiss you

about rejection,as iffybob has already said,everyone gets rejected at some point,just take it on the chin and move on,plenty more fish in da sea.

when you meet the right one everything seems to be a lot easyer though

i was always the only one that did not have a girl on my arm at the end of the night,the boys made fun of me & allsorts,i was not ready for all that sort of thing at that point in my life,everyone is diffent,i was a late starter SO WHAT

btw i have anxious

take it easy