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Scared of making phone calls

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Kokoro30

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Mar 14, 2021
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UK
Hi everyone!
One of my biggest struggles is making phone calls. My heart is always racing when I'm waiting for the person to answer my call. Any advice?
 
P

Pollypop

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Jul 23, 2015
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England. Derbyshire
I’m scared of making phone calls too.
I’ve missed out on many things by putting them off.

I write down what I want say and hope I can manage it.

I’m also scared of answering the phone.
My heart pounds and I shake.
I don’t know who it is or what they want, so I can’t prepare.

I can’t offer any more advice, but know you are not alone.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Canada
I've had this too. Mainly for me I didn't like others overhearing me on the phone, more so than the talking to the person on the other end. But I also disliked longer conversation where you know the other person is just going on and on about whatever because they enjoy talking. I find that almost painful unless I'm in a good talkative mood myself.

I'm not as bad with it all now but still prefer privacy for talking on the phone. I rarely use one anyway, but plan to call the clinic later. It's certainly a social anxiety issue and those are tough to live with. People without this don't seem to understand it at all but it is not rare. Lots of people get anxious about talking on the phone.
 
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CabbageMama

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I hate talking on the phone. I pace around the house when I am waiting for them to answer and then while I am talking. Have you tried that? Gives your body something else to focus on.
 
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jordan84

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Jan 13, 2021
Messages
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I have always had a phobia of using phones too. I think a good idea is to write down first what you plan to say and before the phone call try to calm your nerves by doing slow breathing and you could practice doing slow talking before hand too so this calms you down and when talking on the phone it may help to feel calmer by talking a little slower 😊 It is horrible when your heart races before the person answers and I'm sorry that happens to you 😖 I know just what it's like.
 
zula77

zula77

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Jan 10, 2021
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York
A huge problem for me. It's comforting to know so many of us struggle with this. I pace around without realising I'm doing it but this helps me keep conversation flowing, and if there's specific things I need to say I'll always write a little script. And rather than sitting and thinking about calling and getting all wound up I will just pick up my phone and do it, not allowing myself to get too nervous. Maybe these will help you too :hug1:
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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I think a lot of it is we aren't able to see the other person's reactions, so we don't know how we are being received. Then there is being tied to the phone, no escape and put very much under the spot light where we have to perform and get things right. We can also put ourselves under a lot of pressure by raising our expectation levels too high. It can stress us out and add to our anxiety. Is it possible to practice in non-pressured environments?
 
A

aav72

Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2020
Messages
22
Location
California
I’m scared of making phone calls too.
I’ve missed out on many things by putting them off.

I write down what I want say and hope I can manage it.

I’m also scared of answering the phone.
My heart pounds and I shake.
I don’t know who it is or what they want, so I can’t prepare.

I can’t offer any more advice, but know you are not alone.


i agree with Pollypop, if you're scared and anxious about making phone calls,
i would also agree to write things down or take notes on what you want to say,
maybe even rehearse things (but only IF you are alone or by yourself where it is quiet);
i like to take notes often if i am afraid of speaking to a certain person on the phone
 
Argon

Argon

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Aug 27, 2019
Messages
599
Location
USA
i agree with Pollypop, if you're scared and anxious about making phone calls,
i would also agree to write things down or take notes on what you want to say,
maybe even rehearse things (but only IF you are alone or by yourself where it is quiet);
i like to take notes often if i am afraid of speaking to a certain person on the phone
This is what I do. I had to call a customer at work a few weeks ago and I didn't know what it was about. I prepared for an hour for anything I could think of. Today I had to call someone but it was pretty easy because it was something that I am used to - a sample that was past the recommended hold time.
 
L

LastChance

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Mar 15, 2021
Messages
14
Location
Borderline of reality and fiction
I struggle with this too. I often like to play video games online with some friends I have, and sometimes they can pressure me to go on microphone, which I always try and put off. It leads to a lot of anxiety, never really found a way of solving it
 
October Rust

October Rust

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Mar 12, 2021
Messages
78
Location
United States
this is really hard for me as well, it always has been. it's nearly impossible for me to gather the courage to make a phone call to someone to make an appointment or to ask a question. i also have this same fear when it comes to stuff like drive-thru windows. i think you need to find the root of the problem. for me, the reason why i'm so anxious about it is because i'm afraid of being misunderstood and i'm afraid of the way that my voice sounds, and i don't want to embarrass myself. once you find out why it's causing you so much anxiety you can begin to work through it.
 
C

CabbageMama

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Feb 7, 2021
Messages
391
Location
UK
I found out on Monday what is worse than a phone call.... I had to do a Microsoft Teams meeting call with 3 other people, including my Manager and HR. You see them, they see you, even more horrible is you can see yourself. I was explaining my MH stuff in detail and absolutely lost it, crying, snotting, generally being revolting. And having to watch myself do it. It has genuinely traumatised me!
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,490
Location
Canada
Finally got through to a real person at the clinic, on third try. Even did the call with brother right there, strangely feel more anxious now five minutes after. Weird.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,176
I found out on Monday what is worse than a phone call.... I had to do a Microsoft Teams meeting call with 3 other people, including my Manager and HR. You see them, they see you, even more horrible is you can see yourself. I was explaining my MH stuff in detail and absolutely lost it, crying, snotting, generally being revolting. And having to watch myself do it. It has genuinely traumatised me!
That must have been highly traumatic :hug: How are you feeling now :hug:
 
C

CabbageMama

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Feb 7, 2021
Messages
391
Location
UK
That must have been highly traumatic :hug: How are you feeling now :hug:
I can laugh about how awful it was now, but it was utterly hideous at the time! It was bad enough having to share all the personal stuff to the 3 male faces, but losing my emotional shit too was pretty humiliating. Realised after calming down that it possibly wasn’t their favourite 45 minutes either...😂. The 3rd person on the call was my Union rep, who phoned me after to make sure I was ok and told me I had done really well. He said I was brave telling them about how difficult things had been for me, it was natural that I was upset and I had managed to articulate things really well. Which wasn’t quite like I had remembered it, but very kind of him to say.😂Worth my £11.50 monthly subscription fee to the Union, for sure.
 

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