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Scared of being a lesbian..



Hey, I excuse myself in advance because i am french and not so good at writing in english. I am a 20 year old girl who experienced something about 4 months ago in the beggining of october. I was at the gym i used to go to the gym everyday workout twice a day i was exausting and draining my body and my self. One day when i finished jogging for about an hour, i randomly had a really bad feeling when i was looking at a female. I felt like i looked a lil bit too much and i started to wonder if i was a lesbian. I felt like i was sick to my stomach. I have a boyfriend its now been 4 years and i was recently put on the IUD ( no hormones in it ) about the end of september. Since I was little, I always had general anxiety about everything I used to have panic attacks and worry about everything. But, this is the first time where it seem to not go away. Everyday i have the same unwanted thoughts about hooking up with a girl and i feel like my brain is trying to tell me that I am attracted to girls but every time I cry or I tell my thoughts to go away. I told my boyfriend whats happening and he is really supportive. But lately, i feel like i dont even know him anymore or my self, I am no longer attracted to him or barely, when we have sex its not the same anymore, because in my brain it is 100% sure that I am a Lesbian and 24/7 its in my brain so I cant enjoy my self. I know deep down I love my boyfriend and I wanna be with him for the rest of my life. Its like my brain is taking over my life. My anxiety is making me go crazy! I am seing a psychologist and she told me to tell my self its not true.. but i need more help than that because every time i tell my self that it just makes it worst. I am wondering if my IUD makes me depressed or rly anxious because i had it in the end of september and this hapenned in the begining of october. I never felt more anxious in my life. Please help me :(

Thank you,
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2014
Hi Ashley and welcome to the forum.

Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much.

I would imagine that it started after realising that you were staring at the other woman for too long. It sounds as though you questioned your sexuality after feeling bad for looking and this has triggered more anxiety about your sexual orientation.

I just wondered, had you ever felt attracted to women or questioned being a lesbian at all before this incident? If not, then it's highly probable your worries are anxiety related.

Putting it in to perspective, at the end of the day, if you are a lesbian, or bisexual, then you are. There are many worse things to be.

I must just add, I have heard of IUDs causing (or increasing) anxiety and depression but I'm not sure if this would be the same in one that is considered hormone-free.

If it continues, it would be worth going back to your doctor and discussing how you've been feeling.

I hope you feel better about things soon.


New member
Jan 19, 2015
I don't mean this as a mean question, but do you consider being a lesbian as unacceptable? (I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from so I can possibly help).