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Scared and trapped - can't stop thinking about suicide

S

so sad

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2016
Messages
113
The title says it all really.

I feel so trapped in so many aspects of my life. I'm scared all the time, scared of failing, of letting others down, of just not being enough.

I'm doing DBT which is great but overwhelming. When I struggle to do it then I think I'm going to fail and I'll never master it.

Things are never good at home.
Work is busy and I'm solely responsible for some big pieces of work. Its not that they can bring anyone else in because there is only me who knows it. I do have a colleague who really doesn't want to know about the work and gets away with doing anything but the job he is paid to do - but they all think he is Mr Wonderful.

I really can't see any other options than suicide and that in itself is scary.

I just don't know how much longer I can cope with this, I know things change, feelings and situations change etc etc but I'm in a cycle and keep ending up back here every couple of weeks.

What is the point?

x
 
A

Amyjane8812341

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
66
I'm so sorry your having such a hard time. Are you under the care of someone like CMHT or g.p? Maybe talking to someone on how your feeling would be helpful. Sending hugs x
 
S

so sad

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2016
Messages
113
I do have a care co-ordinator who I see rarely but I do DBT every week which includes an hour 1-2-1 with a DEBT therapist. Problem is that although she is great, her answer to everything is to use a DBT skill. That's all well and good but its a lot easier said than done. When I'm this overwhelmed all I want to do is die, not go through my notes to find a skill that won't work immediately or even in the short term.
DBT is great, don't get me wrong but at the moment, its all too much. So I feel like I'm failing at that too.

:low:
 
A

Amyjane8812341

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
66
I 100% know what you mean . When you feel so rubbish using a skill for a few minutes may distract your mind then and there but once it over you still feel the same and if your that low it's hard to even use them. I was only seeing my CPN once every 6 weeks but I have become unwell feeling very low ECT so I called up and got the out of hours number and I must say since then they have been great. I was worrid to tell the truth of how I was feeling but they have since sent someone out to me every day. I still feel ill but it a nice now I have people there to help. If you don't mind me saying I think you should call someone like your CPN. Tell them how your feeling and they should be able to get someone out to see you.
Please feel free to privet message me at any time. X
 
E

eli_mom

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
24
I’m very sorry you are having a hard time. Changes are inevitable and all of us go through things that are not fair. We can’t stop life from happening but we can choose how we respond. Based on my experience, it’s not easy adapting to change but when I do, it helps me to become a better person.

I’m sorry that things are not doing great at home and at work. I pray that it will get better and you will remain strong. Please keep us posted. God bless.
 
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