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Scare to get help

S

spacegirl

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2015
Messages
2
Hi.

Sorry in advance for the essay but I need to explain my situation.

I have been suffering from extremely low moods, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, being unhappy, constantly crying and feeling like there is no hope for the future for a number of years. I am always unhappy and cannot find joy in anything! I get through each day because I have to not because I want to and I feel that I am literally 'surviving' at the moment. I am constantly sleeping (when I'm not at work) and each day all I look forward to is going to bed.

I have been with my partner for 14 years and he is finding me really difficult to live with - although he is very supportive and has stuck by me, it is beginning to effect him and our relationship in general. After several discussions lately, we both have come to the conclusion that I am depressed and need professional help. I have read numerous 'self help' books and tried to change my way of thinking etc but nothing is helping and each new day I feel like I am back to square one. To give you an idea about how ill I must be - last year my partner and I went on a 9 month trip around Europe in a Motorhome. We lived off of savings, stayed in some of the most beautiful places I have ever been to and had complete freedom (no jobs etc) and I cried every day and felt completely dissatisfied with my life and unhappy.

I have been to the doctors twice in the past about my 'feelings' and swore I would never go back due to the way they made me feel. The first doctor I went to see told me that because I wasn't having 'suicidal thoughts' that he couldn't help me and that I just needed to 'get on with it'. The second doctor I went to see (a few years later) looked at me like I had two heads when I told her that I was feeling really low and unhappy. So, naturally I am now scared to go to a doctor even though I know I am at the point now where I need professional help. I am 28 and although I know I am depressed, I try to get on with my life as much as I can, I get up (this can be a great struggle but I do) and go to work and to any other person I probably look 'normal' on the outside as I am putting on a front. Therefore, when I walk into my GP surgery because I don't sit there crying my eyes out and telling them I want to end my life I feel like they aren't taking me seriously.

My partner has agreed to come to the doctors with me and so my question is, how do I explain to my doctor what my problem is and what exactly do I say to them so that they will take me seriously?

Thanks for reading and any help on what I can do is really appreciated!
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum!

I'm so sorry you've had this experience with doctors, but please try to pursue help from another GP. You will find one who is sympathetic. You deserve help, and I'm so sorry you've been made to feel scared of getting it.

When you do find a sympathetic GP, just tell them what you have told us.

Wish you all the best.
 
S

spacegirl

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2015
Messages
2
Thank you jruth for your reply.

I've realised that I've not posted in the correct place but don't know how to delete this post (sorry, I'm new to this forum).
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Thank you jruth for your reply.

I've realised that I've not posted in the correct place but don't know how to delete this post (sorry, I'm new to this forum).
Oh yeah. I didn't even notice that (whoops). I'll report it now and ask for it to be moved (although I'm not 100% if they can). :)
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,750
Location
Europe
Hi spacegirl and :welcome:

I'm not so sure whether I would take depression problems to a GP, from what I've seen and read they are likely to just prescribe antidepressants which temporarily make things worse and then maybe work or don't work after a while, and more often than not they don't do very much.

Instead in your position I might try a life coach? Someone experienced to help you be active and live a happier life, who you can talk to and help you come up with an approach that's tailored to your personal make up, rather than blasting your brain with a bunch of chemicals. You could take your partner with you to some of these discussions, so you can decide what to do together. And depression doesn't come out of nowhere, your brain is trying to tell you something, part of your inner being is unhappy with how things are.

Which is another thing that I would explore, the deeper motivation behind the depression. You say you're not taking pleasure in life and feeling that there is no hope for the future, so the question is what is missing? What used to be there when you thought about "hope for the future" before you were depressed? What values do you hold deep inside that indicate that the future is going to go badly?

A psychologist or psychotherapist might be useful, but in the UK at least it's hard to access those services on the NHS for depression. It might be an idea to book a few private sessions, just to help get a handle on your inner motivations.

Good luck! ;)
 
pepecat

pepecat

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
13,913
Location
middle earth
Depending on where you are in the UK, your local trust might have a self-referral service you can access. Then you can by-pass a gp and go straight for some counselling / therapy without having to be referred.
If you google 'Mental health services in...... [insert name / county of where you live] and have a squizz round the Mental Health trust website and see what they have.

Or, we have a (growing) database of charities / organisations in different areas that might help - have a look in the 'uk local forums' section on here.
(Bear in mind though we've only just started putting this together so we may not have anything for where you live - doesn't mean it doesn't exist though!)

Your gp can refer you on to services as well, though there's often quite a long wait, and again, depending on where you are in the UK, what is on offer can be different from one place to another.

If you do go back to the gp, it might be worth writing down how you feel and how it affects you in case you feel like you're not getting your point across - then you can give them the bit of paper and see what they think. Taking your partner with you is a really good idea as well - I used to find the gp took me more seriously when I had someone with me than when I went on my own.
 
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