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saw gp today/ thank you everyone/ there is hope

chazxxx

chazxxx

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
744
This post feels a little narcissistic so I do appologise.

I went to see my gp today quite reluctantly as I've always felt like a pest they just wanted rid of before, end up having an antidepressant prescription thrown at me and that's it. Been 5/6 times before. And haven't been back for about 4 years. Gave up. Lived like a misserable zombie ever since, believing this is just the way I am. But I felt a depressive episode creeping back in recently and it made me reflect, I've wished I was dead since I was 14. I can't kill myself because I don't want to upset my mum. I realised I was trapped in misery. This can't be normal. This and several members recommendations to see GP made me try one last time.

And my god is my new GP amazing. I told her I thought I had dsythmia. She listened. She didn't stare at the computer, she listened and asked questions. She told me she'd recently been through it herself. I didn't feel like I was being a pest that she just wanted to get rid of. Finally felt asthough I was atleast somewhat understood. I've never had that before. Not in the 10 years I've gone in and out of this bullshit. I can't tell you the relief. I cried. I don't even know why! I never cry anymore, I'm rather matter of fact about how I feel about myself and this awful existence. But I cried. Probably just because someone was actually listening instead of telling me I'm lying.

After we spoke she said she was going to recommend therapy. I could of kissed her. Seriously. She read my mind. I didn't want more anti - depressants that dull my emotions to make me function. I can function (however reluctant, begrudging and misserably). What I need is to get my head changed. She said she didn't think antidepressants would be the way to go, I explained i don't want any ssri's atleast, I'd maybe try SNRI's or Maoi's or something else that doesn't just dull emotions. She told me it's something we can think about next time and to see her in 2weeks, because the cbt referal may take a little while and she wants to see how I'm doing.

I just really felt the need to share this. This right now is the closest thing to happiness i think I'vefelt for like 10 years. I really feel like I could cry and not stop.

And this forum is part of the reason why I even went to see her. So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that ever responded to any of my threads whining on. It was appreciated even if I didn't say at the time.

I actually now feel hope :cry:
 
catkin

catkin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
5,170
Location
in a bit of a ravel
Chaz, this is good to hear, you haven't whined, your post isn't narcissistic.
Really glad you have found a good GP who gets it. Well done for making the appt xx :hug1:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
I'm just catching up on the posts here in the Depression forum, and just wanted to say i'm so pleased to read about your experience with the GP. :hug:
I don't think your posts is narcissistic at all, by the way.
It's really good news and i'm so glad that some more support is being put in place for you. x
 
S

switch

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
46
Amazing the effect a person who is empathic and willing to listen can have. Very sad that there are so few of them.
 
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