same problems on forums

[Twinkle Toes]

Hi

Wondered if any other autistic people had this cos I'm wondering if I'm accidentally breaking 'unwritten rules' repeatedly and I don't realise cos of the autism.

I start a new forum everyone's welcoming but then inevitably I always reach the point where posts I write get ignored or if another post was getting lots of replies and i joined in to reply then no-one else replies after.

I never understand what I did so move to another forum for a while and use a different name, sometimes I return to a past forum under another name assuming if people know its me again they won't answer but they may have a post on there thats really relevant to me or where I could get support for something if people don't realise it's someone they decided they didn't like.

Any other autie's find themselves in this cycle? It does affect real life relationships too as I don't have confidence to let people get to know me incase they reach the stage they don't like me and I can't just change my name and turn into a different person in real life where neighbours etc will obviously see its still the body they know as 'you'.

Anyone get what I mean?

Tinks

 

[midnightphoenix]

i get what you mean, its sometimes hard to understand other people particularly when it's words that are writ down

 

[midnightphoenix]

out of edit time

unwrit rules are hard to understand for me, some unwrit rules i know about are stupid

like one forum, the unwrit rule is its a bannable offence to spell a moderator name wrong

 

[Twinkle Toes]

out of edit time

unwrit rules are hard to understand for me, some unwrit rules i know about are stupid

like one forum, the unwrit rule is its a bannable offence to spell a moderator name wrong

wow thats severe! what happens if person is dyslexic???

 

[toto]

Well, I notice the same thing here, I have to see if in at least two or three topics my posts go unanswered. In another forum, after I was annoyed that they wrote the name of the therapist next to the diagnosis, that they were actually the therapist himself, I finally stayed to write almost entirely by myself. The co-forum members will excuse me for talking about the effectiveness of the pills, I think they are undercover pharmacists. Because I tried several types and I felt bad.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

I was thinking more like eg.. saying things considered inappropriate, but others may have mentioned the same topic and they didn't get everyone suddenly attacking them.

so I'm thinking wll that person mentioned x thing and they didnt get jumped on by everyone in forum or all future posts ignored etc

 

[midnightphoenix]

wow thats severe! what happens if person is dyslexic???

they keep getting temporary bans i think

or they get put in the thing where a mod has to check their posts before they appear on the forum

 

[Ozymandias]

@Twinkle Toes - I'm not autistic myself, but I felt it relevant for me to reply here because I can very much identify with what you wrote, which makes me wonder whether it's necessarily an autism thing? My own diagnosis is BPD... autism is something I've never even been seriously suspected of.

I think with me - in most part because I've occasionally been told this is the case - the problem is I have a tendency to be overwrought, and to be honest I can see that. I find it hard to be concise... I tend to think that every detail is important and needs to be articulated, plus I worry about how words can easily be misunderstood and so I write more in order to be as clear as possible in my tone and meaning.

 

[midnightphoenix]

For me, what makes it hard for me to understand others, is learning difficulties and BPD

 

[toto]

@Twinkle Toes - I'm not autistic myself, but I felt it relevant for me to reply here because I can very much identify with what you wrote, which makes me wonder whether it's necessarily an autism thing? My own diagnosis is BPD... autism is something I've never even been seriously suspected of.

I think with me - in most part because I've occasionally been told this is the case - the problem is I have a tendency to be overwrought, and to be honest I can see that. I find it hard to be concise... I tend to think that every detail is important and needs to be articulated, plus I worry about how words can easily be misunderstood and so I write more in order to be as clear as possible in my tone and meaning.

I am also.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

@Twinkle Toes - I'm not autistic myself, but I felt it relevant for me to reply here because I can very much identify with what you wrote, which makes me wonder whether it's necessarily an autism thing? My own diagnosis is BPD... autism is something I've never even been seriously suspected of.

I think with me - in most part because I've occasionally been told this is the case - the problem is I have a tendency to be overwrought, and to be honest I can see that. I find it hard to be concise... I tend to think that every detail is important and needs to be articulated, plus I worry about how words can easily be misunderstood and so I write more in order to be as clear as possible in my tone and meaning.

Hi

I was officially diagnosed as autistic as had symptoms before the age of 2. it was queried as a child but I also had another fairly rare condition (for a baby to be born with back in the 60's) which was often blamed for all symptoms.

I did see another psychologist in my 30's and she again said she thought I was autistic. I didn't have access to the internet myself at the time so never questioned it. I've never enjoyed physical contact.

I don't know anything about BPD so would have to look it up. what do the letters stand for?

 

[Purpleplum]

I was thinking more like eg.. saying things considered inappropriate, but others may have mentioned the same topic and they didn't get everyone suddenly attacking them.

so I'm thinking wll that person mentioned x thing and they didnt get jumped on by everyone in forum or all future posts ignored etc

It's called a clique and they exist in the real world and on forums. When you're in the clique, things are excused. When you're not in the clique, they're not excused. Don't worry about it though. Just ignore it and you be you.

 

[Ozymandias]

Hi

I was officially diagnosed as autistic as had symptoms before the age of 2. it was queried as a child but I also had another fairly rare condition (for a baby to be born with back in the 60's) which was often blamed for all symptoms.

I did see another psychologist in my 30's and she again said she thought I was autistic. I didn't have access to the internet myself at the time so never questioned it. I've never enjoyed physical contact.

I don't know anything about BPD so would have to look it up. what do the letters stand for?

BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. Also known as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD), which is a more accurately descriptive title. I think, on this particular topic, the relevant underlying drive is ultrasensitivity to how others perceive me... it leads me to do everything I can to articulate myself accurately and unequivocally, and if that takes a lot of words then so be it.

However, on top of what I've already said about people telling me that the sheer volume of words I sometimes write can be tiring to read (and, sometimes, offputting before even starting to read them), I've also been told that I can be 'intense' to an overwhelming degree, which also makes me difficult to respond to.

Maybe some of that is relevant to you, maybe it isn't - I wouldn't know, obviously. I just thought that the perspective might give you food for thought.

 

[midnightphoenix]

Hi

I was officially diagnosed as autistic as had symptoms before the age of 2. it was queried as a child but I also had another fairly rare condition (for a baby to be born with back in the 60's) which was often blamed for all symptoms.

I did see another psychologist in my 30's and she again said she thought I was autistic. I didn't have access to the internet myself at the time so never questioned it. I've never enjoyed physical contact.

I don't know anything about BPD so would have to look it up. what do the letters stand for?

borderline presonality disorder is what bpd stands for

 

[Nukelavee]

The fact is that people do or don't respond according to their own priorities.

There can be many reasons for not responding - no overlap in experience, topic may be way out of their interests, they may not feel comfortable responding...