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Romantic relationships when future of your mental state is unknown

N

Notalwaysever

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2010
Messages
258
Location
Florida, USA
So in a prefect world I would stay as in readable stable as I am right now. In an almost prefect world when I have a full schizo episode my partner would lovingly wait by my side and steer me toward proper treatment. I don’t live in either of those worlds.

I am fortunate enough I have people in my life who care about me very much but I know they cannot handle me when I am no longer taking part in reality (for lack of a better way to put it) . Should I push forward and make a romantic commitment knowing that my brain could one day derail the whole thing or do I continue keeping potential partners at an arms length so I can disappear when sick and reappear as if nothing ever happened?

I didn’t always have this fear but as I have gotten more symptomatic and lost people because of it I am more afraid. I won’t bore you with the long stories.
 
L

Lab rat

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Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
1,331
Location
UK
My episodes have become less frequent as I’ve gotten older. I have a wife of nearly 20 years. She can handle my psychosis, up to a point. My daughter can get through to me, even when delusional, she has in the past been able to reach me.
 
L

Lab rat

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
1,331
Location
UK
So in a prefect world I would stay as in readable stable as I am right now. In an almost prefect world when I have a full schizo episode my partner would lovingly wait by my side and steer me toward proper treatment. I don’t live in either world.

I am fortunate enough I have people in my life who care about me very much but I know they cannot handle me when I am no longer taking part in reality (for lack of a better way to put it) . Should I push forward and make a romantic commitment knowing that my brain could one day derail the whole thing or do I continue keeping potential partners at an arms length so I can disappear when sick and reappear as if nothing ever happened?

I didn’t always have this fear but as I have gotten more symptomatic and lost people because of it I am more afraid. I won’t bore you with the long stories.
Go for it! You only live once! 😃
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
882
I've been married for 30 years. My wife and I met, married and had kids before I was ill, but she has stayed with me through it all since then. She has been loving and caring, and also very firm and hard on me when it was needed. I honestly don't think I would have survived the last 20 years without her help. I really don't know what advice to give you. Having a close significant other can be a lifesaver and can be great, but that is only if they stick with you. If they end up leaving you when you are at your worse, it could be devastating.
 
C

CabbageMama

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
808
Location
UK
I've been married for 30 years. My wife and I met, married and had kids before I was ill, but she has stayed with me through it all since then. She has been loving and caring, and also very firm and hard on me when it was needed. I honestly don't think I would have survived the last 20 years without her help. I really don't know what advice to give you. Having a close significant other can be a lifesaver and can be great, but that is only if they stick with you. If they end up leaving you when you are at your worse, it could be devastating.
I am in this position. Got left when at my worst, got even worse because of it and am devastated. I cannot see a time where I could be in a position to meet anyone again, particularly with my MH issues.
 
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