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Roller coaster emotions

G

Girl interupted

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Nov 17, 2018
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This is freaking me out a bit. I’m pretty sure it’s related to stress, but I’ve never reacted like this before.

My typical cycle is I’ll have a few weeks of buoyancy, optimism, I am rock solid. Then it will invariably coast into a couple of weeks of depression.

Lately, even my depression hasn’t been so bleak and bottomless, so much so that my therapist told me I was not currently depressed. First time in nearly 30 years.

Hooray right?

The past week something has shifted. My gradual rise and fall is now accelerated. I can feel happy and confident one hour then wanting to cry for no seeming reason. All within the span of a few hours. It’s freaking me out. I have never experienced this. (I have asked my therapist about bipolar, she says no).

My mother’s burial is coming in June (ground was frozen when she died), and I’m currently competing for a promotion at work and it’s challenging.

It’s just stress, right? I’m terrified this is the new status quo.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi what you have described is exactly what I experience ,my mood/emotions change within hours
am afraid I have no advise but I promise you are not alone xxxx
 
G

Girl interupted

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Tried meditation, it worked for an hour. Tried drinking, it’s failing me tonight. My heart is beating like some freakish broken clock ... probably an anxiety attack, but I cannot identify why.

Probably something I stuffed back down inside leaking out.

This sucks. I need to be composed for the interview!
 
E

EstherRose94

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My mood can shift that quickly too. Alcohol typically doesn’t help 🙈 I think coffee in the morning does help a lot though. I’m sure you’re nervous for the interview but you’ll be fine! Focus on preparing and tell yourself that you can figure out all these emotions as soon as you slay that interview 😊 try to relax like watch a movie or read a book to ground you
 
P

Pollypop

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With these symptoms, I was diagnosed with RAPID CYCLING.
This diagnosis was made by a clinical psychologist.

For me, this was an excellent diagnosis that has been proven
over many years.

This is MY OWN situation and NOT a diagnosis for anyone else.

Hoping you find a solution soon,

Pollypop x
 
P

Pollypop

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Oh, it isn’t excellent having it.
I just meant it was good being made aware of what I had !!
 
G

Girl interupted

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I will look that up, thank you Polly. Reading does indeed create a panacea.
 
G

Girl interupted

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Esther, yes I know alcohol is probably the worst thing to do. I just go to it when I can’t seem to get hold, and the anxiety becomes overwhelming. I have tried the meditation, it does work, but sometimes it doesn’t.

But you are right, it’s not a good idea.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Xo
 
E

EstherRose94

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I know because I’ve tried that method too but it usually backfires and makes me more anxious even if it’s just a drink or two.
 
P

Pollypop

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Hi Girl Interupted, how are you feeling.
I hope the mood swings have settled down.

Did you you look up “rapid cycling”
If so, does it sound like anything you
have been feeling?

Take care, x
 
BleachedViolet

BleachedViolet

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Light from a dead star...
I feel like I'm 30 different people within one day. I oscillate between apathy, hope, motivation, fear, paranoia, anxiety, self-loathing, exhaustion, obsession/obsessive thinking, resentment, reasoned thinking, claustrophobia, loneliness, love, confusion, and so many more things I cannot even think of words for.

It's a mf-er.

How have you been lately? :hug:
 
G

Girl interupted

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Hi Polly, I think I have re-steadied. I did some reading and it appears this is not the case for me as my therapist has firmly said I’m not bipolar, but the sensation was similar. I’m guessing I’m dealing with too much stress at the moment and this wonderful new thing is reactive.

I used to be so efficient at burying things, lol. I wonder if that skill diminishes with age?
 
G

Girl interupted

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Oh Violet, that sounds miserable. I’m sorry! I only experienced this for a few days and it freaked me out, I cannot imagine. Hug.
 
BleachedViolet

BleachedViolet

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Thanks, sweetie. :hug: It sounds like you're under a crazy amount of stress, atm. I'm genuinely glad to hear things have steadied out for you a bit.

Stay strong and just try to throw yourself into whatever activity or responsibility you have with all you've got. Accomplishing things always is a relief, to me, though I understand you're going through a hard one with your recent loss. Condolences to you and your family. This too shall pass xx ♡
 
G

Girl interupted

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Interview done, we find out Tuesday. Roller coaster has stopped.

Stress is brutal for bpd.
 
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