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ROCD

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Gtw38p

New member
Joined
Sep 26, 2020
Messages
2
Location
St.Louis, MO
For the past seven months, I’ve been in a relationship with a really great guy. Initially, I had some doubts that were probably natural as you’re trying to figure out a new relationship, but a few months ago something switched. The doubts became obsessions. Do i really like him? Am I attracted to him? Am I making a mistake? It just kept coming and coming. It’s been really bad. I keep thinking breaking up is the only option. I’m constantly seeking reassurance from friends and confessing things to him to find some relief. I used to have the solace that at the very least I liked spending time with him, and he made me feel happy and safe. Now, I just have the thoughts that he doesn’t make me happy or feel safe, and I’m so on edge that I can’t feel positive things around him anymore. I feel like the ROCD has robbed me of my feelings for my boyfriend, and it scares me so bad. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel crazy, and like I’m delaying the inevitable by not just ending things even though I’m pretty sure that would de estate me and I’d miss out on a great relationship
 
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LokiPokey75

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
563
Location
United States
Hi Gtw38p!

Welcome to the forum! I've never been in a relationship before, but I've had OCD for 13 years so I have an idea of what you're going through. I think it's great that you came to us and allowed us into your thought process.

It's really the fears attached to these thoughts that are causing you the biggest problem. You're now having to second guess everything you do rather than trust your instincts that you know what the relationship means to you.

What I suggest is going towards those fears, not away. Okay, so you're not attracted to him. You don't like him. You're making a mistake. What's going to happen? You'll break up. That's scary, but most likely if it's scaring you, it's because you like being in a relationship with him. If you didn't care at all, you'd already be broken up. The fact that you're worried shows you you're wanting to move forward in your relationship.

These fears are very normal and it's good that you're having them. They'll help you to determine what you want and need out of this relationship going in the future. Take some time to see if he's fulfilling them. Clarifying your needs and facing your fears will be crucial steps to helping you see if this is the right relationship for you.

At the end of the day, just trust yourself. Allow those fears to be there and go with your gut. You make a mistake, you'll learn from it. Once you do, you'll do things differently the next time.

Good luck to you, Gtw38p! I believe you can do this!
 
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Gtw38p

New member
Joined
Sep 26, 2020
Messages
2
Location
St.Louis, MO
Hi Gtw38p!

Welcome to the forum! I've never been in a relationship before, but I've had OCD for 13 years so I have an idea of what you're going through. I think it's great that you came to us and allowed us into your thought process.

It's really the fears attached to these thoughts that are causing you the biggest problem. You're now having to second guess everything you do rather than trust your instincts that you know what the relationship means to you.

What I suggest is going towards those fears, not away. Okay, so you're not attracted to him. You don't like him. You're making a mistake. What's going to happen? You'll break up. That's scary, but most likely if it's scaring you, it's because you like being in a relationship with him. If you didn't care at all, you'd already be broken up. The fact that you're worried shows you you're wanting to move forward in your relationship.

These fears are very normal and it's good that you're having them. They'll help you to determine what you want and need out of this relationship going in the future. Take some time to see if he's fulfilling them. Clarifying your needs and facing your fears will be crucial steps to helping you see if this is the right relationship for you.

At the end of the day, just trust yourself. Allow those fears to be there and go with your gut. You make a mistake, you'll learn from it. Once you do, you'll do things differently the next time.

Good luck to you, Gtw38p! I believe you can do this!
Thank you. You’re probably right. The OCD just makes the thoughts feel so real and like that’s what I truly want. I just get so anxious about them and I can’t seem to let them go and move on. It truly is scary to constantly feel like I want to breakup with or don’t even like being around the guy that’s made me so happy since we met.
 
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