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ROCD Variations HELP?

K

KirkyKilzIT

New member
Joined
May 17, 2015
Messages
1
Hello, I've been suffering with OCD scince I was 14-15ish. I'm now 20 and I've been in an amazing relationship for the past two years.. When we first got together I was insanely paranoid about my past interfering and if anything I did came out (like people I had kissed, and more) that she would leave me straight up. I spent months worrying about every thing and person I could think about and how they could ruin everything we have together, at the time I thought this was all completely normal behaviour but I was constantly looking for reassurance from my mother who I used to talk to about everything just because I had no one else, and even after she gave me sound advice that made me feel better I'd be constantly asking the same questions in the hope to get the answers I was looking for. Anyway as this has all basically gone away now I thought for a few weeks I was finally becoming normal and not being ruled by my fears and that I could totally enjoy my relationship without being hounded by these thoughts and worries. I was wrong.. When I was in work after two weeks of 5am starts and late finishes and caught myself checking out a person that normally I wouldn't find attractive or I'm the past I've looked at people thinking they are good looking and that was that, but my brain tried telling me that I was falling in love with this person and I couldn't be in love with my girlfriend, who up untill this point I never had a single doubt about, she was perfect. But anyway after I had this thought it felt like somthing had clicked in my brain, and I started to worry I was falling out of love with my partner and I fell into a world of what I could only describe as debilitating anxiety and worry. I knew this wasn't normal thinking and how it was making making me feel was very weird, I took it upon myself to Google every feeling I had and how It was making me feel to stumble across ROCD, and it instantly described how I was feeling as all these feelings were so out if the blue and unexpected I was anxious for about two weeks and it now seems to of subsided but I still can't feel the way I used to feel about my girlfriend, I've started to pick on her flaws and the behaviours that annoy me and I have no idea why, after all we've been together two years and they never bothered me once, so where has all this come from and why am I no longer anxious? I said to myself I'd battle through this and do whatever it takes too win and I've been reading through every sucess story and forum post I could come across in the hopes of making me feel better.. Main question is what are the stages of overcoming rocd, the feelings it produces, and why I am no longer anxious? Thanks help is much appreciated
 
M

MiamiHeat

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
1
I'm in a similar situation to yourself. Around 2 months ago, i'd get really bad anxiety and be crying all the time. But now I feel like the anxiety has gone most of the time, but the thoughts are still there, and I guess I worry that they're my real thoughts. I also keep wondering if I even have anxiety, and therefore ocd. I think I might just be getting used to it.

There are things called backdoor spikes, where you get anxious because you're not anxious. To overcome it, I've been told that CBT is the best method, so get yourself referred. I'm also seeing a psychiatrist so I can be told that I definitely have rocd, I'm hoping that will help, although in a way that's another reassurance seeking behaviour. Feel free to message me if you need to talk more, I'm sure it would help me too :)
 
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