• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    For more features and forums

ROCD or shallow



New member
Aug 14, 2019

I recently married my wife a few months back. throughout our 5 year relationship i would always feel guilty about finding other girls attractive. Although I never wished to nor acted on these urges my guilt would be strong - especially in places like our honeymoon etc. In addition i have always had issue with her physical attraction. At first her teeth were croooked and i obsessed over them - now i find them cute after months of obsessing. Then after we got engaged i saw a picture and realized she had chubby cheeks - i panicked. do i suddenly find my future wife unattractive - but he that went way after a few weeks. Finally this may once again i noticed the cheeks thing again. It has consumed me for the past 3 months to the point where i only find skinny faced girls attractive. Clearly in the 4/5 years we were together i never made this a priority. yes i have noticed this from time to time and have found it unattractive - but now i just cant move past it. my brain is telling me that i cant be with someone who i find unattractive sometimes. Ive compared her to countless girls - ive analyzed her to no end - all these diff angles - just trying to beat it but now i just made it worse and shes more unattractive than ever - i keep thinking that i if i paid attention back then i would have realized it and i just must have missed it or i skipped the signs (when i panicked around our engagement). The catch is i am head over heels obsessed with my wife. i love her more than anything in the entire world. i sit in fear of looking at her and thinking negatively. everytime i say who cares my brain just says maybe she just isnt ur type. i cant win. i cant beat it. the only time i am happy is when im laying in her arms. 4 months ago we were soulmates destined for amazing things. today i am a zombie - going through the motions - i recently started medication and have an appt with an ocd doctor tomorrow. but this is how afraid i am. i am petrified he is going to tell me u find ur wife ugly u need a divorce. all i want is to spend my life with her. i just want to stop caring about face shape, chubby cheeks about all this stupid stuff - my wife makes me so happy but these thoughts are all consuming and telling me this cant work - i want to stop analyzing i want to just be with the sweetest girl in the world. has anyone else experienced this to the point where they cant even look at their wife? I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you


Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Oct 11, 2014
I don't know much about ROCD but it doesn't would like you just don't find your wife unattractive in the normal sense. Hopefully the doctor can help you, I think they will be able to. Good luck.


Aug 9, 2019
Hi, you are suffering from ROCD. Please check with the doctor. If you any any help, please let me know. I'm suffering from ROCD.