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ROCD and long distance relationship, can anyone relate please?

A

alphacharlie1

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Sheffield
Hi so I’ve been dealing with ROCD/POCD/HOCD for some time now and in a couple of weeks I’ll be moving to London for an incredible job opportunity, the only thing is that my girlfriend is moving FROM London back up north to where we’re from (so essentially swapping around). My ROCD is already horrible as we don’t see each other often leading me to constantly doubt feelings and question everything when I do see her... and now I’m panicking that I’m going to move to London and be in an office 9-5 everyday and just lose feelings completely. Can anyone relate/offer their advice please? It sounds petty but this is just one of a whole range of obsessions but they usually stem back to me and my girlfriend because we’ve been together since we were 15 and the last year spending time apart has caused my OCD to manifest rapidly, to the point where I’ll not think about her for like an hour and then feel guilty as though I’ve got no feelings anymore and it’s dead in the water. This is when I’m at home doing nothing as well, so as you can tell moving away to start a hectic life is really triggering for this.

Any help would honestly be so greatly appreciated!
 
N

Nirminirmi

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Surat
Hi so I’ve been dealing with ROCD/POCD/HOCD for some time now and in a couple of weeks I’ll be moving to London for an incredible job opportunity, the only thing is that my girlfriend is moving FROM London back up north to where we’re from (so essentially swapping around). My ROCD is already horrible as we don’t see each other often leading me to constantly doubt feelings and question everything when I do see her... and now I’m panicking that I’m going to move to London and be in an office 9-5 everyday and just lose feelings completely. Can anyone relate/offer their advice please? It sounds petty but this is just one of a whole range of obsessions but they usually stem back to me and my girlfriend because we’ve been together since we were 15 and the last year spending time apart has caused my OCD to manifest rapidly, to the point where I’ll not think about her for like an hour and then feel guilty as though I’ve got no feelings anymore and it’s dead in the water. This is when I’m at home doing nothing as well, so as you can tell moving away to start a hectic life is really triggering for this.

Any help would honestly be so greatly appreciated!
 
W

Weeping_Willow

Member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
23
Location
UK
I don't have experience with ROCD but as no one replied I thought that I would say that long distance relationships are hard but doable. I just wanted to state that the fact that you feel guilty about not thinking about your girlfriend for an hour shows how much you care. Your relationship. Lasted a year apart and that is a sign of a solid relationship so please try not to feel bad about your doubts as you should be proud. Hopefully you will be able to be reunited sooner rather than later. Maybe try to set aside some time each day to chat or write an old fashioned letter once in a while to keep things new. Then give yourself some slack for the times where your focus is elsewhere as that is natural.
 
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sunshine0908

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
28
Location
New york
I have expierience with long distance and ROCD and can relate to what you’re saying!! My boyfriend is in the military. I actually haven’t seen him since February. I also fear I’ll lose feelings for him or fall in love with someone else at college. Even though I do not want that to happen and wouldn’t let it. I can very much relate to what you said about not thinking about her for an hour and feeling guilty. The SAME thing happens to me. If I don’t think about him for some time or text him (usually a short period of time) I get really guilty and feel as though I’m not thinking about him as much as I should be and have to remind myself of all the times I did think about him.

Having ocd and anxiety plus starting a long distance relationship is scary but you just have to get used to it and learn to remind yourself that your brain is playing tricks on you.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
I'm afraid that things drift apart when they're not part of your daily life. That is why long distance relationships usually don't last. We like someone we can see, feel, hear and touch.
 
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Weeping_Willow

Member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
23
Location
UK
They can last and you are proof of that. It just takes a bit more planning and finding novel ways to communicate and make a connection. I had a long distance relationship across the Atlantic. You are much closer and have the option to see each other more often than I could. You will be fine.
 
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