Returning to work following lengthy absence

A

Azurez

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Mar 4, 2019
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London
Just for a little background, a couple of weeks before Christmas I fully came off of my course of antidepressants, which I have been on and off for the past 5 years or so. Sadly a string of difficult things happened, we suffered a death in the family amongst other things. With all of this happening I really went back to square one with my depression. Suddenly I had no energy again, I was feeling suicidal and had to reach out for help.

I was signed off of work for a few weeks, my friends and family have been wonderfully supportive and I restarted my medication. It was a very dark and difficult few weeks but it's been 5 weeks now and I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not stable yet, but I've improved dramatically.

The problem is, before all of this happened I had only been at my current job for 2 months. They have been incredibly supportive and understanding and have even paid me a full wage for the whole period I've been off. Now I am in a place where I want to go back to work, or feel that I should, I am suffering crippling anxiety about my first day returning. I feel I will have to field a lot of difficult questions and just feel in general that it's an insurmountable task. I can't even face going to my bedroom as it means I'll have to go to sleep and get up to go to work. So instead I'm just sitting here internally screaming. My coping mechanisms for day to day life seem to have vacated me.

I've been prescribed propranolol from the doctor at the end of last week, and I've been taking it for 2/3 days but it doesn't seem to be calming my anxiety.

Any advice on returning to work following a period of absence for depression?
 
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Xan

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Mar 4, 2019
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23
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Louisiana
Because you posted a half hour ago, and haven’t gotten any replies I feel led to give my two unprofesional cents. DO IT NOW. I waited too long , and subsequently could not get out of the house and return. I feel like if I had given my supervisors the reason for my absence as soon as possible and returned, I would have made it back with their acknowledgement of my reasons if I couldn’t sustain it. Instead I put it off, and subsequently resigned my position because the longer you go the harder it is to return. Talk to them. At the very least tell them what is going on, and give them the option.
 
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Azurez

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Mar 4, 2019
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Location
London
I have been giving them weekly updates but I've been shooting myself in the foot by saying things like "I'm sure I'll be back next week", so by the end of the week cue intense anxiety and no sleeping.

I wholeheartedly agree that it's best to just throw myself back into it and try my best, because even now I'm thinking it's easier to just resign. But really it's not. The idea of interviewing and finding a new job is much worse than getting that first day back under my belt.

I'll just try and relax and get some sleep tonight and just push myself tomorrow. I am feeling more positive today.

Thanks for the advice.
 
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