- Sep 15, 2020
- Richmond, VA
I’ve battled these feelings of resentment and rage towards my parents, as they failed to provide me safety and nurturing. Underneath the rage was an ache for understanding and nurturing. I wanted my voice to be heard. I wanted my pain and suffering to be seen. Every situation is different, but for me when I learned to accept and love my parents as they were, without wanting to change them is when the pained eased. It did not take it away by any means, but I could now let them support me on my journey to healing. Their intentions were never to cause pain. Everyone has their own demons and it’s unfortunate the wounds of trauma trickle down from one generation to the next. Sending love and an open heart.Hi all,
I am new to this forum and I am still learning to navigate the pages, so I apologize if this subject has already been addressed. It's something I have been struggling with for a long time.
There is no handbook for parenting; everyone makes the best decisions for their children based on what they know. In my case, my parents didn't intentionally hurt me, but I certainly felt neglected and ignored as a child. As a teen, when my mental illnesses really came to the forefront, they dismissed my cries for help as teenage angst even though I begged for professional help. It was a very, very dark time for me. I had to take my mental health into my own hands when I was 21, and ever since then I have been the one teaching them about mental health. I don't think they've done any research without me spoonfeeding them. I've hardly felt supported. Unsurprisingly, I was hospitalized last year, and even still they have hardly done an adequate job making me feel cared for.
They didn't hurt me on purpose. But through their ignorance... I feel like they set me up for failure. I've been suffering emotionally for as long as I can remember. I love them -- and they aren't bad people -- but I haven't been able to forgive them. I kind of want to confront them, but I'm not sure what good that would do. A confrontation won't give me my childhood back.
Has anyone else felt this way? How have you processed these feelings?