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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Resentment and normalcy



New member
May 18, 2010
I held on to a grudge for 6 months. It destroyed me every day.

I said very harsh words to this person. I cried and ranted and ranted some more. I regret not being more assertive from the beginning. If I'd have stood up for myself, then I wouldn't have felt victimized.

I feel like i should apologize for holding the grudge. This person was a dear friend who did something insanely insensitive. I don't think he is bad...I know just the opposite.

How do I ever say I'm sorry in a way that would be effective? Is this common?


Well-known member
Jul 16, 2009
Hi and welcome to the forum
People can hold grudges for a long time .....6 months is pretty good really.
My advice would be to talk to the person or maybe write them a letter.You will either get a positive response or a negative one .If its negative its their problem and at least you tried.
You may have to be prepared for that and walk away ....who knows....the other person may go away think about it and come back to you later and everything will be ok.
At least you have realized your wrong doing and attempted to make amends....that's the best you can do.
Good luck...hope it goes well


I definitely think you'd be doing the right thing- I find it near impossible to stand up for myself with these illnesses. I hold grudges and abandon people all the time because I let people say whatever they like to me and I can't do anything else to show my anger and disagreement. Because I can't deal with things in an adult way at the start I brood so the anger gets stronger and stronger- it eats me up. It is common to hold grudges but a horrible way to live as you know, and I think it's a very good idea to make amends, especially seeing as really you valued the friendship. I know it's probably a bit of a cliche but I would just be honest and say exactly how you feel to him. Good luck, and keeping things in the open is always the better thing to do for everyone.
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