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Requesting a little help

K

katastrophy

New member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
United States
Hi, everyone. This is my first post here.

I'm a 21 year old college student with social anxiety. For such a long time, I've had problems with self-esteem and confidence. I felt worthless and thought I was so boring because I didn't want to go out with my friends/family. I couldn't even muster up the courage to drive until much later! I just felt like a burden to everyone. Finding work is difficult, making friends is too. I keep comparing myself to my younger family members, who seem successful, have jobs, are in good relationships, while I've never dated anyone before or have gone on dates. I'm fine with it at the moment, but I just keep feeling like I'm racing against time. My family doesn't really understand and they always judge me for not wanting to go out (although I sometimes really want to). I just feel isolated from them and I always feel like they look at me with disdain because they think I'm lazy for not wanting to go out and socialize with others. It really hurts to hear the word 'lazy' because I know I'm not, but it's starting to feel like I am.

Ever since I started college, I've tried to open myself up more, but it's been really tough. Making friends is as hard as ever, even though it's getting better. I've stopped trying to get my family to understand social anxiety. But for myself, I wanted to research more into it, and it's been the topic of choice for all of my psychology papers so far. I'm a senior now, working on a research paper, and I need some help for part of it, if you would lend me a hand.

I created a survey asking people to rate their level of social anxiety as well as their attachment to their parents to see if there was a correlation between the two. I sent this out to my university already, but I thought it would also be interesting to request others on a social anxiety forum to take this survey as well. So, if you have 5-10 minutes to spare, please considering taking the survey. It doesn't really matter if you're in college, contrary to what the survey title is, and it also doesn't matter if you've already graduated or are no longer in school. Anything helps. It would really help me out a lot :)

Social Anxiety and Attachment in College

Thanks to anyone that participates and read all of this!
 
C

CyberAnxiousYoda

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2019
Messages
12
Location
London
Hi,

you are NOT lazy. You simply can't beat the cloud over you that is draining your energy.

Take it from me. I have dropped out of unis (multiple), gone through endless pysch wards.
Some people have a certain degree of tolerance to socially draining people. You tend to develope this from an underlying need to engage and be "part" of social life.

If you are able to stay home, be in the duvet, watch Friends or Family Guy or South Park or read, this means you are capable of being still and really thinking about the things you feel and are willing to tackle hard truths.

Those who are always "on the go" won't dare do that.

So you may feel isolated and alone. But you are THINKING. And that is the first step to not happiness, but being content and then getting better.


What I suggest, if you can, is go for a walk in a park or nature. Or sit and put a timer on for 5 mins and do NOTHING.

If you want to talk more please feel free and we can chat.
 
K

katastrophy

New member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
United States
Hi,

you are NOT lazy. You simply can't beat the cloud over you that is draining your energy.

Take it from me. I have dropped out of unis (multiple), gone through endless pysch wards.
Some people have a certain degree of tolerance to socially draining people. You tend to develope this from an underlying need to engage and be "part" of social life.

If you are able to stay home, be in the duvet, watch Friends or Family Guy or South Park or read, this means you are capable of being still and really thinking about the things you feel and are willing to tackle hard truths.

Those who are always "on the go" won't dare do that.

So you may feel isolated and alone. But you are THINKING. And that is the first step to not happiness, but being content and then getting better.


What I suggest, if you can, is go for a walk in a park or nature. Or sit and put a timer on for 5 mins and do NOTHING.

If you want to talk more please feel free and we can chat.
Thank you for replying, and for your words. They were comforting. I do find that going on a walk by myself through nature, or sitting there doing nothing to be relaxing, although doing nothing sometimes makes me feel restless. I guess I've never thought about sitting there at home, watching something or doing anything to be steps towards a positive thing. It's just been a distraction to me, a way for me to push away the things I have to confront later. I always tend to push things off until the last minute, until I have to pretty much force myself to do it because I've run out of time.

I can't even get myself to make a phone call for a doctors appointment, and I'm afraid that I'm going to keep pushing it off until a certain time, at which I'll consider it to be too late. Although I KNOW very well that I'm not lazy, sometimes I feel like it's a self-fulfilling prophecy that I'm just living out now because of how much I hear it. I've just gotten tired of getting my family to understand.
 
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