Wandering2
Well-known member
Hi, I don't think rapid cycling is a myth at all. I was diagnosed with bipolar multiple times in the last 14 years. The illness I noticed for me changes constantly when it comes to my mood swings. And the mood isn't just a disagreement or life change that triggers me, but I know little things can at times be catastrophic to me regardless of what it is. A missing scarf or anything I can't find results in sleepless nights of shopping and replacing items. Random feelings of sadness creep on me, then when confronted I go from extreme sadness to extreme rage (adult tantrum). When depression sets in, Im not doing anything sometimes for days or weeks. I can still jump out of it at random and feel the need to perform extremely odd displays, because I feel good and can do anything. Then have at times bad outcomes because of poor decision making. These feelings for me can occur on and off daily. Medications are useless right now. But I too wonder about rapid cycling or even BPD. I also suffer severe panic attacks. Doctors are not always right, they don't see or feel our day to day. Understanding and diagnosing mental illness, is sadly still in its infancy. I plan to take note of my episodes to my doctor, because communication is fruitless going from the top of my head considering my bad memory. Im on Seroquel 75mg, Lamictal 100mg2x, stopped Lexapro (made me feel weird), and Klonopin for panic. The increase in my seroquel aggregates my anxiety. I told the doctor but she currently isn't taking that into account. I am no less psychotic when I have a break down. It sucks to feel like a goddess one day or minute and like dog piles the next. I have jumped out of windows, cars, to avoid assault or some times ending in assault because of my behavior. I have had my clothing stolen, stranded, wandered the streets, couch surfed, ran away for weeks at a time relying on exotic dancing money. It's messy upstairs.
