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Reported a bad conversation with a colleague about another colleague now bpd wont let up.

D

Dagoon

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OK some context. I had an argument with a colleague as he was saying some pretty nasty things about our colleague that involved her body etc. Now many may say why did I get involved. But bullying is hard in a work place and at that time he was working in the sister home to mine and it may not of been a problem. But now he's coming to ours and the way he spoke about her was nasty. He hates her you had to be there but he hates her. So I reported it. But now my bpd is escalating it in my head and now its turning into an issue for me and im working in the home he works in on Friday. There were about 5 other people that witnessed this conversation but im the only one that defended her. I hate when men get all she dirty and her breasts (he used a more vulnerable word) are down to her knees etc. I know I did the right thing. But I am having anxiety now because the repercussions are going to come and I hate confrontation when it's aimed at me about me.

Help! Im loosing it now and im so stressed its causing me to be impulsive. I just texted my boss to change or take away the Friday shift for me because im not dealing with this. She doesn't know I have bpd or anxiety or anything I just said its stressing me out .
 
Morax

Morax

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I hope me saying this doesn't add fuel to the flame. But, I think you did the right thing. Everyone knows it's not just immature to speak to or about anyone like that, especially in the workplace. I'm proud of you being the one there out of five to defend her. A lot of people are too afraid to speak out even when they know what's happening is wrong. But, they typically don't cause it "goes against the grain".
Has your boss messaged you back yet?
 
D

Dagoon

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Hi thank you. Not yet no. Im going into work this morning. Back to the place where this guy is. Yeah what he said was disgusting to be honest. It really triggered me. Women have a bad enough time in some work places without his type. Some of said I should of kept my mouth shut. But thats how bullying goes unpunished. There was a deputy manager sat beside me and she said nothing. Trouble is with bpd we do tend to over embellish when it comes to drama. But I couldn't change what he said even if I wanted too. There were several witnesses that didn't say a damn word to him. Just me.
 
Morax

Morax

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Messages
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Location
Baltimore
I’m sorry your boss hasn’t messaged you. Perhaps this ass hat will now think twice before opening his mouth around you and others now that he knows there’s someone who’ll speak against him? It also might even give a little courage to others to join you in speaking out against work-place harassment.
 
D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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OK some context. I had an argument with a colleague as he was saying some pretty nasty things about our colleague that involved her body etc. Now many may say why did I get involved. But bullying is hard in a work place and at that time he was working in the sister home to mine and it may not of been a problem. But now he's coming to ours and the way he spoke about her was nasty. He hates her you had to be there but he hates her. So I reported it. But now my bpd is escalating it in my head and now its turning into an issue for me and im working in the home he works in on Friday. There were about 5 other people that witnessed this conversation but im the only one that defended her. I hate when men get all she dirty and her breasts (he used a more vulnerable word) are down to her knees etc. I know I did the right thing. But I am having anxiety now because the repercussions are going to come and I hate confrontation when it's aimed at me about me.

Help! Im loosing it now and im so stressed its causing me to be impulsive. I just texted my boss to change or take away the Friday shift for me because im not dealing with this. She doesn't know I have bpd or anxiety or anything I just said its stressing me out .
You were the only one with the courage and niceness to speak up about his meanness. Most people are sheep with no guts (as is shown by all those who sat by and didn't say anything including the deputy manager) and they just focus on protecting their own back.

But now you have to deal with the weirdness of being around him. As you can see now, it's probably easier to just stand by, not say anything, which is probably why the others don't. Cause they don't want the hassle. They only care to protect their own backs.

Which is the better approach for protecting your own interest? I guess that's a tough call. You come out of it now at least sticking to your values, which is why you did it, I guess.
 
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