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Relieved and Scared by BPD Diagnosis

H

HoggieMum

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
1
Location
United Kingdom
Yesterday I was diagnosed with BDP. After years of being told I’m bad tempered or nuts or anxious or depressed how I feel and act finally has a name and I don’t know how I feel about it. Part of me is so relieved but part of me is scared to death and another part just feels ashamed. I’ve been told so many times to be normal but I don’t even know what normal is. Why do I appear to embrace conflict or go from lovely to psycho is ten seconds flat. Why do I push people away and then beg them not to leave. Why do I feel such intense feelings yet feel empty inside. I want to overcome this but at the moment I don’t see how, the way I am has been me for so long how can I ever get better or feel like other people do. Have relationships where I don’t feel paranoid 24/7, have a life where I’m not worried about everything. Until yesterday I barely knew what BPD stood for now it’s what defines me and my life and I feel so alone. I know people are judging me for not getting it sorted sooner but mental health has always been something to be ashamed of in my life being diagnosed with depression and anxiety was hard enough but this is a whole new world a world I don’t understand or want to be part of.
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
171
Location
Slovakia
I know it sounds scary, but I don't think it defines you. You are the same person you were before, but now you know what the problem is and perhaps it will help you find a way to live a nicer life. It can't be any worse, can it? I know judgement of others can be terrible but I'm sure those who love you will not stop just because your diagnosis have a name. Take care.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,050
Let the diagnosis empower you. Read all that you can about bpd, then find a good therapist and start reviewing your traumas in order to let them go.

It is not a life sentence, your disorder is a result of terrible things that happened to you, that were beyond your control. It is not your fault.

But it is your responsibility to get better. And you can get there with therapy.
 
J

JNP

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Ohio
I understand. I feel the relief and the dabilitating fear at the same time. It is very hard to begin to see things differently. It is the first step to a better life.
 
E

ellaella

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Alabama
Yeah all your BPD diagnosis is is a roadmap to feeling better. You just go on down that list of symptoms and you realize you finally know what's causing them and then you can start to address them. It scared me, too, but it turned into really such a relief.
 
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