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Relentless sadness, how to cope?

G

greenstar

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
16
I'm finding the relentlessness of things hard to manage. Been feeling really low for a few weeks now, a combination of underlying family illness and career issues that I was coping with and a recent break-up from what wasn't even an actual relationship but seems to have hit me harder than I ever thought it would. I have such an awful aching sadness all the time and I can't get away from it. Just resorted to a small amount of self harm this evening, only minor stuff but I'd been working hard to keep myself from that over the last few weeks.

The fluoxetine I've been taking for just over 2 weeks did seem to finally kick in over the weekend and things lifted slightly, I was able to eat a bit which I hadn't been doing much, I read a bit and felt a slight interest in a few things, which again I hadn't done for the last few weeks. I had moments where I felt like maybe I could handle things. But this evening I feel right back down again and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm worried it's going to go on for months or I'm going to just fall apart, feel so on the edge of...I don't know what.

I've been in email contact over the last few weeks with the guy I was kind of seeing, and it's been so confusing, especially this evening's email from him. It seems like we never really talked about where we wanted things to go and I think if we had maybe things would have been different. I tend to keep things rather uncommitted but I thought he was okay with that. Things seemed so good. If I'd known it bothered him... he's one of the few people I've ever met that's special enough that I'd have really considered something serious with him. I know saying I'd 'consider' something serious doesn't exactly sound like someone who's completely besotted with someone but for me it does mean something very significant. But I think it's too late now.

How do other people cope on a day-to-day basis with feeling so constantly sad and low?
 
G

gmh

Guest
hey

i think its just a case of taking everyday as it comes and taking what life throws at you with a pinch of salt.

boys at this sort of time can be really difficult to handle and im the same as you, commitments difficult for me but my ex was a bit pushy and wanted to be married and have kids when we were barely out of our teens. he needed a reality check I think and he sure got one when we broke up. and now im going through a rough time i think i could really do with him here with me but then realise that just over complicates things. guess what im trying to say is, dont feel too bad if you dont make a go of it with this guy, perhaps nows not the greatest time to make these decisions when your feeling so low. not sure though, i dont know you, just a little friendly advice.

as for self harming, its certainly not a route you want to take, im hardly one to talk about that after my last couple of days but we both know it feels good until after. need i say more
 
G

greenstar

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
16
Thanks gmh, you might be right about not feeling too bad if I don't make a go of it with him. It would probably be easier in the long run to stop email contact with him altogether, although at the moment there's so much stuff we never said and even though it's probably too late I feel like I'll regret it for ever if I don't at least try and resolve things, even if that just means letting each other know how we felt and then going our separate ways.

Have you been self harming recently too? Mine is minor stuff but that's mainly because I'm a private person and wouldn't want anyone to find out so I try and keep it to a minimum. Not a good idea to do it, but tonight got too much.
 
G

gmh

Guest
yeah so although i dont agree with it, and think you shouldnt do it, would be quite hypocritcal for me to give you a lecture right now.

i started 7 years ago for 2 years then stopped for 5 years. last night i did and tonight i have done twice. i cant seem to make myself stop. its in a small area that i always keep covered anyway and yes only minor things for me too, lots of blood to rid myself of evil though. :S
 
G

gmh

Guest
but not sure why im even in the depression forum im not sad or upset or anything. just your thread caught my eye.
 
T

TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
((((greenstar))))

just take a day at a time. i know with my anti d's i was a bit up and down to start with till they are fully in your system. just think of the times you are feeling a bit brighter and picture yourself feeling back to normal (whatever that is lol). try and get outside for a while esp if the sun is out. does cheer you up. and try to eat, even a little, keep your strength up.

as for sh, i understand, it is just a release yes. dont beat yourself up if you do it, try not to, but we are all human and if you are prone to doing this then it can be hard to stop.

thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hug:
 
G

greenstar

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
16
Thanks both for your replies. This is all so weird for me as I've felt so together in the last few years, like all this kind of stuff was in the past and I'd found new ways to cope with anything life threw at me.

Haven't self harmed for a long time and it feels strange but kind of comforting in a weird way. Hopefully will keep it to a minimum.

I do think the prozac is helping although have felt really low for most of today and really struggled getting through the day at work. Had a couple of drinks this evening with a friend whch I thought might be a bad idea as alcohol can really emphasise things when you're feeling down and I hadn't eaten anything all day either, but somehow it actually gave me a bit of respite and cheered me up for an hour or two. That was really nice.

x
 

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