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relationships

C

cole

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
58
Location
scotland
Hi i was just wondering if anyone could give me some advice.I have had a manic episode in the past,severve depression with self harming and now the doc says i am hypomanic.My sister lives and cares for me but i can see thats its a strain and feel really selfish.me and my bf cant seem to get along either the last few weeks. even when we are fitin he says he cant get a word in.I feel bad but sometimes they just annoy me and i want to hop on any train and go.How does everyone else manage with their family and friends?
 
emski

emski

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
1,151
Location
North West
It's difficult. I find close relationships hard, but ultimately fulfilling. My mum is great - supports me 100% but when I am unwell I run away from her, hide, I don't like her seeing me at my extremes.

My Dad - we have only been on good terms a year, and he had a stroke 4 months ago. He suffered with chronic alcoholism. He doesn't know I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and he never believed in mental disorders, western medicine or anything like that. He wouldn't accept it if he could.

My brothers - they live away so not as close as we used to be. Currently having some difficulties in our relationships....

My gran. She's a hip 86. She didn't even have to ask what bipolar was. She is the sweetest, warmest lady in the world and totally accepting and forgiving.

My best friend... she is amazing, she knows me better than me... and my other close friends are good with me too.

HOWEVER, I just can't maintain intimate relationships with men - there are hundreds of reasons, but in some ways I don't mind. I never really envisaged me getting married or having kids anyway. I could write for pages on this but won't go into the details...

So that's how I deal with my family and friends and relationships in general. I'm lucky I have a good support network on the whole just the odd blip, mostly in communication I guess...

Does this even help cole?
 
Dave.P

Dave.P

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Preston
tis rough.

Hey Cole. Relationships are hard enough without health problems affecting the situation. I can only go off what has worked for me and hope it may ease the strain.
Family you won't get rid of. They are with you for life, through thick and thin, ups and downs. Your sister wants to help.Try not to feel guilty about that help as I'm sure you would do the same for her. Be honest with her, let her into your world and don't be afraid of asking for what you really need. You some times hurt the people you love. That doesn't make it ok but it is normal. They, along with you need to get used to the highs and lows, they can't fully (and never will) understand what you're going through but you need to paint them a picture, be too honest if you have to!
My mum only hears what she wants to hear. She says she supports me but she is supporting herself and is frustrated at not knowing how to help. I have told her but that's mums for you.
My sister pretends that my bipolar isn't too bad. She is busy with kids and hates to think of her little brother being unhappy. I can understand this.
It is by far the hardest for my girlfriend. She takes the brunt of it and it can seem like un un-winnable war sometimes. She can't get a word in either but then it's me who needs to talk fast. I need an outlet. I need her to listen to my rants and raves. I can be a little crewl, childish, rude and impossible sometimes and I don't know how she stays with me. But she does!
If you have bad times, give yourselves extra good times. He is with you for a reason so get your kicks where you can. Honesty again is the key. It is worth it. Listen to each other and walk around in their skin to see how they feel and ask them to do the same for you. Forgive and forget and move on.
Keep talking.
 
C

cole

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
58
Location
scotland
thanks

thanks for all the advice everyone.my sister is only 24 tho (am 21) she has a long term bf and works as a carer.I am def holding her back from gettin on with her life.am i goin to have to have someone there all the time living with me? just feel so selfish.I cant really talk to my mum coz she lives 45 mins away and suffers from mental health probs and has been sectioned in the past so i dont want to worry her.my dad isnt in my life much he left when i was a baby.my best friends are really good bout it tho but think they get annoyed when i disappear for weeks on end not taking calls or goin out. me and my bf are havin serious probs just now and am not sure how to fix it sometimes i wonder if its all a mistake and if i stopped my meds i would be fine but then wot if i took more would that help?
 
emski

emski

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
1,151
Location
North West
I can't answer you meds question hun, but I think you need to go easy on yourself. Dave is right, you need to talk to your bf and sister and be honest :hug:
 
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