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MLeona

Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Arizona
Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum for BPD or any forum really...My counselor and shrink had mentioned it might be good to have the support from one since I was recently diagnosed with BPD a year ago. I don't have any outside support because from what it sounds like I've had the same issue as most on here of people getting fed up with the negative, mentally destructive, hurtful behavior I have demonstrated to all of them...I have been on medication for the past year and I have been getting a lot better emotionally, logically, and more aware of my surroundings of how I treat people. So I hope I can get some help or advice on how to maybe get those people to realize things are getting better and changing.

I've lost my family, friends, my boyfriend is afraid to stay around, and his friends and family don't want anything to do with me (which makes this harder for him). I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years on and off. He has ADHD, but I am the one with BPD and it has been really rough on him. He's tried to help fight through all the problems I've caused and he has lost so much trust in me and the faith in me to change. His friends and family tell him that they want nothing to do with me or have me around; that he is welcome over, but he's not allowed to bring me. I've treated him very very poorly and it took me almost loosing him for good and attempting to commit suicide for me to wake up to the fact I need treatment. Once I received treatment, things have changed a lot with me and it's hard for him to see that. He's hurt and I want to be able to fix it and prove to him he doesn't have to be afraid anymore...

Does anyone have any advise for me on how I can get him to see things are changing or more that I can do to show him things are changing? And does anyone have any advise for him on how to cope with the situation and dealing with the hardships we have been through to continue or improve for a bright future?

Thanks for reading :).
 
calypso

calypso

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BPD is a really difficult problem to have to live with. You can see what you are doing wrong but seem not to be able to stop it. It can be soul destroying. Something I did with my husband when we got to a point of hardly talking to each other, was write him a letter. I know it sounds cuckoo when they are in the next room or whatever, but its a way of describing clearly what you want to say and gives you time to think through your words, and them time to digest them. Just an idea.

I hope you can turn a corner too. Have you ever heard of DBT - dialectical Behavioural therapy? Its worth looking into and seeing if its offered near you. It works exceptionally well with BPD particularly.
 
M

MLeona

Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Arizona
BPD is a really difficult problem to have to live with. You can see what you are doing wrong but seem not to be able to stop it. It can be soul destroying. Something I did with my husband when we got to a point of hardly talking to each other, was write him a letter. I know it sounds cuckoo when they are in the next room or whatever, but its a way of describing clearly what you want to say and gives you time to think through your words, and them time to digest them. Just an idea.

I hope you can turn a corner too. Have you ever heard of DBT - dialectical Behavioural therapy? Its worth looking into and seeing if its offered near you. It works exceptionally well with BPD particularly.

Thank you! I will definitely give that a try to see what happens. My bad choices have gotten a lot better. Within the past year I have made the right decisions recognized the wrong ones and not chosen them. I am extremely grateful to be one of probably few who have actually made changes effectively (not meaning that rudely). I am a big believer than if a person wants to change then they will do what it takes to change. That’s is what I have been woken up to and have done or am doing.

I have heard of DBT my counselor was offering it, but didn’t have enough “students” I read my book about it all the time. The thing she and I are working on is EMDR-Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
 
calypso

calypso

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Messages
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Location
Lancashire
I've never had any experience of EMDR - you must tell me how it goes. I wish you the best with your improvement. I hope the others all accept your positive changes in time.
 
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