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Relationships with depression

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Elphie10

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I've just started seeing someone, he's great and we have loads in common and I enjoy his company. I just don't feel anything more than that.

I haven't felt romantic feelings for someone in years, and I'm starting to wonder if it's related to depression or being on meds. Maybe it's that I've been single so long I've built up too many walls. Or maybe I just don't fall for someone easily. But I've wanted a relationship for so long, I just don't know what to do.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I would be honest. Medication can reduce libido and maybe that is one way we know we are attracted to someone. Depression reduces it to, so how do we know? I have no idea :)

Touch is nice though, cuddles, being together, going places, if that is enjoyable then is that enough? My question is always 'can i kiss this person? because some men, i just couldn't imagine kissing in a million years! ;) that is the key question.
 
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Marianda

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@Elphie10 first of all I think it's great you found someone whose company you enjoy and I think that for the moment you must enjoy that. Go out with him and spend a nice time with that person. It's not easy to find a guy that you enjoy being around.

Let things flow and live the present. For the time being, I undrstand you are just friends and you are very lucky you found a friend.

Don't pressure yourself. Enjoy the moment. Who knows if your feelings will change.

I really wish I could find a partner in my life. I feel really lonely and I would love to share my life with a sweet and honest guy.
 
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Marianda

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I would be honest. Medication can reduce libido and maybe that is one way we know we are attracted to someone. Depression reduces it to, so how do we know? I have no idea :)

Touch is nice though, cuddles, being together, going places, if that is enjoyable then is that enough? My question is always 'can i kiss this person? because some men, i just couldn't imagine kissing in a million years! ;) that is the key question.
It's true that medication reduces the libido. But, at least in my case, I can still feel when I have a crush on some guy. Also medication does not affect the capacity to love someone.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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It's true that medication reduces the libido. But, at least in my case, I can still feel when I have a crush on some guy. Also medication does not affect the capacity to love someone.
There is friendship love and relationship love, and i think with depression and medication, i would not know if it was like or love.
 
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Marianda

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@Tawny I guess that for some people like you thar's perfectly possible. We are all different and meds affect us in different ways.

In my case I can distinguish friendship love from from relationship love. I have many male friends that I truly appreciate and love but at the moment I don't have a romantic relationship wirh anyone. I wish I could have one and share my life with that person.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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@Tawny I guess that for some people like you thar's perfectly possible. We are all different and meds affect us in different ways.

In my case I can distinguish friendship love from from relationship love. I have many male friends that I truly appreciate and love but at the moment I don't have a romantic relationship wirh anyone. I wish I could have one and share my life with that person.
My experience comes from having bipolar disorder so the way i feel when hypomanic compared to well compared to depressed, so it is probably slightly different. I had a boyfriend that i met whilst hypomanic and the way i felt changed along the episodes and also once i started heavy medication, i didn't feel anything for him. It is confusing.

I am sure you will meet someone one day. I have given up ;) i will probably meet mine when i am 85!
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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I don't remember antidepressants effecting the way I felt or acted with past partners, in terms of reducing anything anyway, so I'd doubt it'd be those. I'd suspect depression more so. Are your meds not working well; do you still feel depressed despite them?
 
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Marianda

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My experience comes from having bipolar disorder so the way i feel when hypomanic compared to well compared to depressed, so it is probably slightly different. I had a boyfriend that i met whilst hypomanic and the way i felt changed along the episodes and also once i started heavy medication, i didn't feel anything for him. It is confusing.

I am sure you will meet someone one day. I have given up ;) i will probably meet mine when i am 85!
Don't be so pessimistic!! You will soon meet the man of your dreams!!!

It's weird but my depression meds alter my religious beliefs. I am not religious but I've noticed that when I'm not on antidepressants I think more about God. When I'm on antidepressants I feel more numb in regards to God.
 
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Elphie10

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@Tawny I guess that for some people like you thar's perfectly possible. We are all different and meds affect us in different ways.

In my case I can distinguish friendship love from from relationship love. I have many male friends that I truly appreciate and love but at the moment I don't have a romantic relationship wirh anyone. I wish I could have one and share my life with that person.
Me too, I've longed for it for years. Which is why it's so frustrating that I finally have someone but I don't feel the way I want to about him. I want to wait it out and see if it develops, but then how long do I wait? He likes me, so is it fair to keep him hanging on?

I don't remember antidepressants effecting the way I felt or acted with past partners, in terms of reducing anything anyway, so I'd doubt it'd be those. I'd suspect depression more so. Are your meds not working well; do you still feel depressed despite them?
I still feel depressed but nowhere near as much without them. I don't think it would stop me feeling romantic feelings towards someone. It's just been so long since I have that I'm starting to wonder if it's possible :(
 
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Marianda

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@Elphie10 take your time to see how things go. If after a while you dont feel that "click" just be honest with him. Maybe you can be great friends.
 
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