I am a mum to 5 and due baby number 6 in May.
I love my kids to the end of the earth and back but I do struggle with feelings towards them.
When High I am the mum they love - the one who dances and sings and plays and runs around with them and swings them threw the air.
When I am low I try to avoid them as much as I can ( I stay in bed until they have left for school ( the partner gets the majority of the childcare) just as I can not face them.
I think maybe its the times when I think they deserve so much better than me , that I feel guilty and ashamed that I am their mum.
I was never hugged or kissed as a child and I try so hard to break that curse but it is hard. I tell them I love them as often as I can but the hugging and kissing I do struggle with and my brood are very affectionate , I just try my hardest.