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Relationship with a Narcissist

F

FrancesAA

Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
Has anyone had any kind of dealings with this?

Many thanks
AA
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
280
Location
On The Train
My ex husband was a narcissist for sure. He even knew he was. He showed me the movie Gaslight and it was all things he would do to me! He was trying to drive me crazy like the character in the movie.

I realized he was a con artist and scammed people for money for a fake business. He wanted to use disabled children's social security numbers for profit. He posed as a religious man but was violent and a druggy. My mental health went downhill and he refused to pay the bills so I had to spend all my money on them. I couldn't save enough to leave him for a while.

We went to marital therapy and he was secretly contacting the therapist behind my back. She was so charmed by him and I wouldn't say a word the whole session. This went on for months. He made up stories to the therapist to entertain her. Once he started with the silent treatment (two weeks long) on me he called it "withholding love to punish me". He admitted this in therapy and she was horrified that he was serious. He said she was a terrible therapist and he didnt want to go there anymore.

He would turn to me in a crowded room and tell me he was the most attractive man in the room. He claimed he wrote movie scripts like the matrix that were stolen. He was telling people when we were divorcing that HE put me through college and was now leaving him. Umm I put myself through college before I met him 😆 He would not pay any of his traffic tickets because "they have no real authority" and owes them $12,000. They are garnishing his wages so he just doesn't work.

He was violent. He threatened to kill me with a gun, twice! I knew he would do it and I ran away from him while he was at work one day.

He stalked me for a while and would send me creepy photos of him and ask me for money. He owes me thousands he agreed to pay in the divorce decree but I am not going to bother. Just go away dude! He knows I am engaged now and sent me an email he would not marry me again if I asked 😆 and that he gives his blessings on my engagement. 🙄

So many things I could tell you about my marriage to this guy. It makes me shudder.
 
Not_here

Not_here

Well-known member
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
116
Location
Ingerland
My ex husband was a narcissist for sure. He even knew he was. He showed me the movie Gaslight and it was all things he would do to me! He was trying to drive me crazy like the character in the movie.

I realized he was a con artist and scammed people for money for a fake business. He wanted to use disabled children's social security numbers for profit. He posed as a religious man but was violent and a druggy. My mental health went downhill and he refused to pay the bills so I had to spend all my money on them. I couldn't save enough to leave him for a while.

We went to marital therapy and he was secretly contacting the therapist behind my back. She was so charmed by him and I wouldn't say a word the whole session. This went on for months. He made up stories to the therapist to entertain her. Once he started with the silent treatment (two weeks long) on me he called it "withholding love to punish me". He admitted this in therapy and she was horrified that he was serious. He said she was a terrible therapist and he didnt want to go there anymore.

He would turn to me in a crowded room and tell me he was the most attractive man in the room. He claimed he wrote movie scripts like the matrix that were stolen. He was telling people when we were divorcing that HE put me through college and was now leaving him. Umm I put myself through college before I met him 😆 He would not pay any of his traffic tickets because "they have no real authority" and owes them $12,000. They are garnishing his wages so he just doesn't work.

He was violent. He threatened to kill me with a gun, twice! I knew he would do it and I ran away from him while he was at work one day.

He stalked me for a while and would send me creepy photos of him and ask me for money. He owes me thousands he agreed to pay in the divorce decree but I am not going to bother. Just go away dude! He knows I am engaged now and sent me an email he would not marry me again if I asked 😆 and that he gives his blessings on my engagement. 🙄

So many things I could tell you about my marriage to this guy. It makes me shudder.
This is why i can never have a relationship....

I'd be exactly the same 😢

Note, i do not enjoy being a narcissist. I hate myself.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
280
Location
On The Train
So I haven't heard or seen my ex in weeks. Yesterday these women I know ran up to me and told me that they were at a singles dinner and he was there. He was claiming to be 12 years younger than he is 😄 and blaming me for everything bad in his life. He told me while we were dating every woman who ever dated him was crazy. I didn't see that as the red flag it was. 🚩🚩🚩 I feel bad for the next woman he cons!
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2014
Messages
9,060
Location
North of England, UK
Perhaps most narcissists could best be described as, and understood as being, in a relationship with themselves. Of course, like their other relationships, it tends towards being a bit of a fuck-up :)
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
280
Location
On The Train
I am trying to get rid of mine. He is being punitive and making it as difficult and expensive for me as he possibly can..which is considerable.
Mine was making it difficult to get rid of him. I was advised just to forget about the money he owed me and have zero contact with him. He thought he could Lord this over me that he was going to stretch out a payment plan for a long time and have reasons to "communicate" with me (send berating emails). He tried to claim mutual bills in the divorce decree like his parking fines 😒 I had nothing to do with. I had a lawyer and he did not. He owes me but my lawyer says he will most likely never pay and I should let sleeping dogs lie. I blocked him on whatever I could and seems to have gone in search of his next victim
 
S

SoScorpio

Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Colorado
I suspect my abusive ex was a narcissist. He wasn't the bragging type, which is the only thing that gives me pause. But he didn't need to brag, because he was always putting others down. He seemed to believe "everyone else is trash" more than "I'm the best". I theorize that he developed NPD from a difficult childhood. His mother is an alcoholic and his father seemed to spend a lot of time away from home, probably avoiding the mom. He credits himself for raising his little brother, and was proud that he used corporal punishment to cure his brother's speech impediment because their parents didn't care enough to get him a speech therapist. I think he always felt that the whole world was on his shoulders, and he should therefore be proud for being so strong, and was justified in being angry when someone didn't follow his instructions. He also seemed to think he was above the law, since when I got a protection order against him he came back to the house anyway and took something of mine as well as his own toiletries. Then during the trial to make the order permanent, he tried to privately convince me to drop the charges (which were brought on by the police, I didn't actually accuse him of a crime) while we were both on the stand. He also turned our roommate of 4 years against me, even getting her to testify at the hearing. He was really good at gaining allies and rewriting events.

We were together 7 years, I left him last year. Now I feel like I have no identity.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
280
Location
On The Train
I can also see how my ex developed Narcissist personality. He was given up for adoption by his mother shortly after he was born and adopted by a rich couple. He found his birth mother but she did not want any contact with him. This devestated him. His father and his sister are both world famous and he just isn't. So I guess he had to create this false bravado or whatever about himself to make himself better and if you question that you must be destroyed.
 
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