• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Relationship Troubles and Depressed Partner (depressed boyfriend)



New member
Jun 14, 2021
United States
Hello! I would love to hear from you all about my situation.

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. During that time my boyfriend has had several severe depressive episodes to the point he considers suicide. He does not think anyone can help him and tends to be treatment-resistant to medication. On several occasions, he begins to pull away and become distant. When I check in with him on this distance, he says he has not been attracted to me and is not feeling the relationship. This always comes as confusion and 180 as he has usually been affectionate and attentive right before. We broke up for a couple of months after one of these episodes because I was hurt and didn't want to be with someone who said they didn't love me and never had, despite the evidence otherwise. I realized during our time apart it was likely anhedonia from his depression as he said he didn't really feel anything for anyone or anything.

It has now happened again Friday, even though he was very loving and acting fine towards me and our relationship during the previous weekend and week. It is so confusing because he says he doesn't want to break up but can't force a feeling that isn't there and he doesn't feel much of anything. He says he is just going through the motions.

Situationally he hates his job and said he doesn't care if he is fired or not, is bored with his life, is selling his rental property because he doesn't want the responsibility anymore, and his current living situation's lease is up and said he doesn't care where he lives next.

We currently do not live together and I am trying to give him time and space. I have not been texting him since Friday night unless to say goodnight.

I am trying to decipher if this is a result of his untreated depression or if it is something else. If you have depression have you ever felt this way towards your partner? If you are the partner of someone struggling with depression have you ever been in this conundrum?

Help :/


Well-known member
Forum Guide
Nov 10, 2019

How is everything now?

I think some people with depression just go through the motions. Depression certainly muddles the thinking so if someone says they want to divorce when depressed, it is very likely due to the illness and probably not what they really want, for example.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
V Ended Romantic Relationship Depression Forum 5
C Long distance Relationship and restrictions Depression Forum 1
L advice needed about needing space in your relationship Depression Forum 2
G Im 19 and going through a breakup from a 3 year relationship Depression Forum 8
M Did you never had a romantic relationship ? Depression Forum 3
D Relationship Advice Depression Forum 7
L Relationship Causing Depression Depression Forum 2
S New relationship has pushed me back down again Depression Forum 6
A Guidance for relationship breakup. Depression Forum 2
M Do you crave for loving relationship ? Depression Forum 19
J Bi-polar alcoholic mother is imploding, my relationship with my wife is very difficult. Feeling very overwhelmed. Depression Forum 4
N My relationship is destroying me Depression Forum 9
W Advice needed for a relationship with someone suffering with severe depression Depression Forum 6
K Toxic Relationship Depression Forum 9
C Never had a relationship Depression Forum 11
K Toxic Relationship and Depression Depression Forum 11
S My relationship broke down with my partner after he lost his mum? Depression Forum 5
I I need some help with my relationship and family Depression Forum 1
I Relationship (or lack of) with my family is haunting me. Depression Forum 9
L The depressed relationship Depression Forum 1
W Depression and my toxic relationship. Depression Forum 9
PurpleDaffodils Confused, anxious, depressed, stressed over life and relationship. Depression Forum 1
M Long Distance Relationship + Depression Depression Forum 2
H Relationship issues Depression Forum 2
T I’m lost and confused with my relationship Depression Forum 3
R Toxic Relationship with mother is too much, can't take it anymore Depression Forum 11
S Partner depressed, relationship at risk Depression Forum 6
S Can't get over a relationship Depression Forum 13
J Tried an Open Relationship - Now it's Destroying Me. Depression Forum 19
L Dating Relationship Went Bad, Don't Know What To Do Depression Forum 4
A Relationship advice Depression Forum 6
L Depression that is affecting your relationship...and showing itself as Depression Forum 4
J Insecurities, Relationship suffering, Money Issues, Worthless Depression Forum 2
B Was in crisis period... Now even worse through relationship breakup Depression Forum 5
R Relationship-Proof? Depression Forum 5
S Depression, Alcohol, Relationship Depression Forum 2
B My depressed boyfriend ended our relationship Depression Forum 2
9 Long distance relationship Depression Forum 2
S Helping my wife with depression - under the cloud of a recovering relationship Depression Forum 2
J relationship affected Depression Forum 3
J Depression/Anxiety in a relationship Depression Forum 5
C My girlfriends depression is hurting our relationship Depression Forum 6
J Depression is killing my relationship Depression Forum 2
A Being in a relationship and fantasising about having the bf kill me Depression Forum 5
J My partner is depressed, relationship is on the rocks & I don't understand. Depression Forum 5
G Weekend Depression and Relationship issues Depression Forum 4
A Relationship with girlfriend Depression Forum 3
G Really struggling with breakdown of relationship Depression Forum 3
V SAD affecting my relationship every year to extremes Depression Forum 1
littlemissprocrastination Addicted and depressed; is my relationship hopeless? Depression Forum 6

Similar threads