A good dating site is
http://www.nolongerlonely.com/
Its free and it specifically for people with MH issues
After some thought, I decided to have a look at this site and create a profile. As Apotheosis said there aren't too many Brits, but I've found one woman in my local area who is doing exactly the same degree course as me... she might even be at the same university as me, as my course isn't exactly a widely taught one.
I've thought about once again putting a profile onto 'normal' sites, but I know I'm not going to get anywhere. Let's face it - if I write the truth, which is that quite frankly I don't give a sh*t about mortgages, careers, and money, that I don't want children, and that long-term plans and 'security' bore the crap out of me, and I like to live for today and think about tomorrow when it comes, then even if I looked like George Clooney I wouldn't get anywhere. I mean, virtually every profile features something like 'I'm career-minded', 'I want an ambitious man' (and by ambition they mean career ambition. I mean, I'm ambitious - I want to one day be Prime Minister, I want to write a million-selling novel, I want to be a racing car driver - but these women want what they see as
realistic ambitions, not quixotic ones), and other such trite, grey conformism which you just know means they want you mortgaged-up within a year and have your entire lives planned up to and including your funerals. I tried that once... I felt half-dead at the age of 26, and consequently got out of the relationship.
Plus I don't look like George Clooney. Far from it. I know how many e-mails women get on these sites, and as such know that you have to be pretty good-looking to get even an
acknowledgement, let alone a date.
Isn't this a pertinent point ~ That we have expectations, wants & needs that will likely never be fulfilled? For whatever the reason. I can relate this to the lack of MH care; & the exclusion of the help that I want. & with women, the longer that I have been alone, the more fussy; & picky I have got. I see all the things that are wrong as soon as I meet people. That doesn't stop me looking for the best in others. But do I really want a girlfriend that gets drunk every weekend, that has been around the block, that has as much or more baggage than me, that demands attention the whole time, & that plays games & is prone to manipulation & emotional outbursts?
Call me a misogynist; or cynical - but I don't really see what is so attractive about most women these days anyway? Of the women that I know; most of them can't cook, they are not clean, they are spoilt & selfish, they moan the whole time, they appear highly emotionally unbalanced & they are as misandrist themselves as any misogynist ever is; as to be the norm now. They use their 'womanhood' to play men, & the norm is to cheat & play musical relationships. I would much rather continue to be single than to have a repeat of any of the women that I have been in relationships with in the past.
Not to say that there are not good women out there; as I do know some real gems in my life - but they are very few & far between; & certainly not the norm.
I can absolutely understand where you're coming from here. I totally and utterly agree on the point of how misandrist many women have become, and will add that I believe they're becoming hypocritical too in demanding standards of men that they can't offer in return.
I also know, and have known, a few female gems in my time. However, they are/were either well and truly snapped up (unsurprisingly!), or don't/didn't want to be with anyone. To be honest, my observation is that when it comes to women at/around my own age (31), the good ones are taken and the rest are either too badly damaged to have a relationship, too up their own arses to deign to date anyone who isn't tall, dark, handsome, rich, and with a MENSA level IQ, or they simply don't want to be in a relationship.
I'll give you an example of the kind of nonsense some women come out with, which was said by someone I actually know... it relates to a comment that Neferakhet wrote in another thread, regarding his jeans. Basically, this woman turned someone down for a date because she 'didn't like his shoes'. Really... what a load of utterly pointless, irrelevant, superficial, crap. She's actually someone I'd long held some attraction for, but as soon as I heard that I lost any and all of that attraction. Personally I'm too worried about having a conversation with someone to worry about their footwear, and I thought it was us
men who were supposed to be the shallow ones?! I wear trainers whenever I can, and only wear shoes when I absolutely have to... frankly, if that's the difference to someone between them being willing to date me and not willing to date me, then to my mind they're a moron.
