- Dec 2, 2018
Surprise, surprise. I'm having relationship problems and I need help. Every single time I meet someone I like I begin a very unhealthy pattern. I feel so intensely that I message them or seek them out all the time. Sometimes, in the beginning, they're flattered and seem to enjoy the attention. But inevitably the frequency of contact drops off. I know what's coming. I'm going to be alone again. So I do what I can to hang on. I find excuses to message them. I like every status they post. I *know* that this isn't helpful. I *know* I look crazy. But the anxiety is so overwhelming and contact, even if it's not reciprocated, makes things bearable for a minute. I also *know* this is an unhealthy coping mechanism. Right now I'm at the threshold staring down this rabbit hole again. I met a guy that I really like, and we hit it off and we talked for hours everyday. But then he started to pull back because he was busy, and I started to cling. Now, I'm certain he's ignoring me. I know he's been online, but he hasn't even read my message. I am very tempted to lash out and tell him he's being cruel and insensitive. But also I'm in agony. I hate myself for doing this every time. Every time I think I've learned my lesson. However, I know that if I lash out or keep messaging, nothing good will come of it. So my question is: 1) what do I do instead of messaging and/or lashing out and 2) how do I stop this from happening? Is it even possible to stop it before I alternate someone I like? Thank you.