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relationship OCD

G

Galena

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Russia
Hello! Im Galya and Im 23 yo. I want to sorry for my English , Im not native speaker.
I really need support and help now because I got this type of OCD first time. I have OCD about 3 years. Sometimes its better sometimes its worse. I always could fight with it because I easy understood " aha its OCD". I got thoughts about that what if Im dangerouse and cant controll myself, can kill somebody. I got thoughts about sexual orientation, about sickness like rabies or schizophrenia. And I always passed it, I understood that need to ignore them and thats all. Was hard but anyway I did it. I had break in summer , I was so calm, didnt have any strange thoughts, but in the end of August I got obsessive thoughts about Rabies, I started to think what if some dog or cat bite me and I will die, or bats and so on. I read information about it, had rituals. I had alot of anxiety and fear. Then it stopped , 6 days ago it stopped itself. When I think about this rabies Im super calm and thats all. But better it stayed with me. because after this OCD I got another type, and it gives me alot of pain. Six days ago, after OCD where i was afraid rabies I got ROCD. Fast. So fast that I didnt understand what was happening. It was evening and I just talked with my boyfriend ( chatting he lives in another country) and talked the same time with my friends ( one of them guy). I talked , all was fine and just BOOM I got thoughts " you dont love your boyfriend, you fall in love with your friend) . I was scared , I didnt understand what it was. I started to ignore this but it came more more and more. I know its impossible, because i really love my boyfriend, we planned family together, kids, I was always so afraid to lose him, jealous. and got such thoughts for me was so painful because one day before ROCD started I was so afraid to lose him and so on. So i decided just delete this " friend " and didnt talk with him. It wasnt big problem for me, because we were not the best friend or smth, just talked, I even dont know his name :D so after I talked with boyfriend abit , but I felt something wrong, like some anxiety. We talked and I went to sleep. When I woke up in morning I got fucking awful thoughts " you dont love him , leave him". I was so scared , I started to cry, I didnt want these thoughts come to my brain. I said myself nono but brain said " nono you dont". World just stopped, I thought about it every minutes, I was so scread , I got such thoughts "what if i really dont love him, what if i really need to leave him or i will leave him later, what if when i say to him i love you, im liar" and it made me cry alot. I feel inside I love him , I dont believe i could stop love so fast . Impossible. I was afraid to lose him before and not I got this one. Thoughts became worse and worse like " you love another guy , you should leave your boyfriend , dont lie to him, you cant be happy with him, he will annoy you and so on". I got like depression, now I want nothing, I only cry all time and so want to back in Past and change this all, that I didnt get such thoughts. Guys, Im sorry for my mistakes and long text. If somebody had / has ROCD, please help. Im so afraid its not ROCD. My brain says me all time that its not ROCD that I really dont love, and I so cry, I dont want it, I feel I love , why its so hard. I cant find doctor here who can work with OCD, because they dont know how to work with it. I will be very thankful! Please , say to me, does it look like ROCD or not? or I really could stop to love for few seconds . Thank you so much!!!!
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
618
Location
Uk
It sounds like rocd to me.
You said it a lot at the start of your post about how ignoring those thoughts helps and eventually they pass.
You have overcome many of these thoughts many times and this thought will pass too.

You do love your boyfriend, you know you do. This is the negative thoughts trying to convince you otherwise. Ignore it like you have done with previous negative thoughts.
Distract yourself with cleaning, music, going for walks, chatting to your boyfriend.

Whenever the thoughts come just tell yourself "they're just thoughts, I dont want to listen to them" and do something to take your mind off them.


Mindfulness is good. There is a lot about that on youtube and all over the internet, for a bit if self help.

I hope these thoughts pass quickly for you!
 
G

Galena

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Russia
thank you so much, I just worried about that its not ROCD. I got it first time and I didnt understand it
 
R

RKWDLL

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2019
Messages
10
Location
East Lancashire
People have fleeting thoughts that cross their minds all the time but mental health issues just cause people to overanalyse those thoughts. I'd say the average person has negative thoughts about their relationships on a daily basis but they just don't dwell on it and let the moment pass.
 
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