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Relationship OCD

M

manu1234

New member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
2
Location
india
My Name is Manu , My wife is taking medicines for OCD since 3-4 years, not continuously, she stopped taking medicines herself after our marriage . Now she started again taking medicines by consulting a doctor. She had problems from her childhood but not realized that until she is 20 years old.
Now after giving birth to our baby her symptoms increased. She also compells me to participate in her rituals. For an example, if she is taking a tablet, after taking tablet she always have a doubt whether she swallowed it or may be it fell down to her breasts and there by reach our child. so she will remove cloths and check. If this happen in bedtime and if I don't allow her to do this then after sometime she will tell that she cant sleep and please allow her to check. Otherwise she will ask me to check .Please advise me whether I should allow her to do checking or not in those circumstances. she will not go to a bathroom if any disinfectants are there. she fear house gecko/lizard a lot. If she step into some scratch paper or something she will think its lizard and she will jump. and later she will ask whether stepping on a lizard is poisonous or not; for her or for the baby and many times I have to convince her that holding a remote controller is not poisonous; she thinks sometimes the battery is very harmful
she will keep on bathing/ keep on washing her hands. she don’t like any pets. she don’t like me wearing any religious things. she fear thieves also.
All these problems were there before giving birth to our baby also. But now she is thinking more about the child, whether she will do any harm to the child or not.
Finally she fears about her own thinking/fearing.
some days its not much issue. She needs a lots of sleep, I think its because of her medicines. But after our child born. She don’t have that much time to sleep.
Now she is worrying more, even me because we are shifting to a new place, and she will be away from her parents/my parents/relatives. She will be only with our child most of the times as I go for working, like 6am to 8pm
Please advise me what to do in those circumstances.
Thanks
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
501
Location
England
Hi Manu
It is common that existing mental health problems become exasperated during pregnancy/after childbirth. Your wife sounds like she is coping with the anxiety of becoming a new parent by increasing her rituals. Medication alone will not help her. Does she have a therapist? It sounds like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would help her. She needs to challenge the thoughts and anxieties that increase her rituals. CBT will help her understand her behaviours and rituals and help her regain control of the thoughts that encourage them, helping her to 'break the cycle'. You sound like a very supportive husband and she is very lucky to have you. All you can do for her is reassure her and support her. I would chat to her about having another child and that you feel she should seek support for her OCD before this, if this is a conversation you feel you can have with her? Having another child while she has little understanding and control of her OCD could make make things worse.
I hope this helps in some way?
 
M

manu1234

New member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
2
Location
india
hi thank you very much, she very reluctant type. she dont want others to know about her problems. There was a small fight between us when I spoke about the problems to my family.

Sometimes I feel like she is making its an excuse so that she can be lazy. She even not trying to do any exercise which I am always telling her to do. She is tired. Waking up with child and sleeping with child. Now I am thinking cognitive therapy may be the only solution.

When I am with her, I never show her that Iam tensed by her actions and behaviours. But in reality I am very tensed. I was in India, some months before I came to uae. Now I am bringing her to UAE. And the Therapy will be very costly here.
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
501
Location
England
It can be very difficult to support someone with mental health issues and talking therapy will only work if she is willing to accept she has an issue and wants to change. Does she have any friends or relatives of her own she could talk to? It sounds also like your wife could be suffering with depression, as she is sleeping but still lethargic and unwilling to discuss things with you. You can book courses of CBT therapy and complete this online I am sure that I have seen other users on this forum post about it. This is less expensive and is done on the phone and online so could be a good option? Its might help your wife feel that she is in control of the therapy as this is obviously something that causes her anxiety?
Your wife also needs to understand that this is difficult for you and you need to be able to talk to someone, I hope she appreciates you for that? Maybe this forum would be a good place for you to get support? Maybe your wife would find some benefit in reading through other peoples experiences too, she knows she is not alone and it is not unusual to feel this way?
 
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