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Relationship intrusive thoughts

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Hannahc97

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Joined
Oct 13, 2017
Messages
3
I have been in love with my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first met and started dating everything was perfect. Every moment we got together was like heaven and it still is. It pretty much is my number source of happiness in my whole life. He takes away my worries and makes me feel safe and so very loved. I swear he is like a dream come true. I’ve always had OCD. The type of OCD where you overthink everything and your mind convinced you of things. Lately it’s been so bad but only focused around my relationship. It’s like every single thought I think or feeling I have is true or real and I believe it just for thinking it. A thought might go through my mind that I’m capable of cheating on my boyfriend then it turns into if I’m in a situation would I be able to say no then it turns into I’m basically not capable of not cheating on you because I have no control and I’m a horrible terrible person. It has gotten so bad I have told him my thoughts and he has trouble understanding them too but he tries as hard as he can. I notice all his flaws and stuff when I never ever used to and I really don’t care about him having flaws because everyone has flaws. I have so many flaws it’s ridiculous. All I know is I want him... and my brain doubts everythingggg. It’s killing me. It’s killing us. I can’t live with these intrusive thoughts anymore. I only told you about a couple but it’s so bad. I cry all day and want to die the rest of my life.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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You already know that your thoughts are not real things that are factual. Can you pin point some childhood programming where self destructive thoughts could come from ?? That will help reinforce that you are creating make believe thoughts that aren't fact. It's hard work but you can say "NO" to these thoughts. You can say "STOP". You can say it out loud every time and this will help. Learning to stay in the here and now and not worry about fantasy ideas is like your homework.
 
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Hannahc97

New member
Joined
Oct 13, 2017
Messages
3
I know they aren’t real. If I really think about it it makes me sick. My thoughts have gotten so bad I want to take bad drugs and make my brain shut off. I have thought about a hurting myself and dying and have hurt myself but I need help. I can’t handle the thoughts. All I want is to love my boyfriend and be happy with him. I get intrusive thoughts and they seem real and now it convinced me I’m gonna do something like cheat when I know I wouldn’t want to risk my relationship. Am I going to be ok? Should I keep my thoughts to myself? He has gone through it with me and the thoughts obviously hurt him. Should I keep them to myself since I have no control over them? This is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Like I was saying, it's like killing a plant. You have to pull out the root.

You have to find out WHY you are creating these thoughts. You have to get to the root of it.

And you can't keep telling him your crazy making thoughts.

Using STOP and NO are the tools you have for controlling the frequency of the thoughts. No one can help you do this.

Using affirmations every time you have the thoughts is another tool. Say, "I love my boyfriend and will always be faithful to him." Say it outloud. Write it down. Every time the thoughts come. Say, "I have control over these thoughts". Say it outloud. Write it down. It's work but you're worth it.

These tools I am suggesting to you were given to me by a therapist. Your subconscious mind, where the bad thoughts come from, is LISTENING when you say the positive opposite things. It also takes a long time to reprogram yourself.
 
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Renee22

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Dec 20, 2017
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3
This is happening to me so much. I really haven't found the way to stop it, but I'm commenting just because I know it's nice to know someone else is having similar issues. It makes me crazy wondering if I'm just a terrible person or something.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
This is happening to me so much. I really haven't found the way to stop it, but I'm commenting just because I know it's nice to know someone else is having similar issues. It makes me crazy wondering if I'm just a terrible person or something.
Maybe you're a good person worrying that you are a terrible person.
 
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Renee22

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Dec 20, 2017
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3
That's what I'm hoping.
 
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