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Relationship Causing Depression

L

LonelyMom

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2021
Messages
2
Location
US
I have been married for almost a 10 years now, we have several kids together. I have been unhappy in this relationship for years. We have not had a real connection for about five years now. I tried to leave several times, I tried because I knew that's what I needed to do for myself. He wouldn't allow it, he didn't think that was the right choice. Not realizing what he was doing he pushed me deeper into depression. After months of fighting I finally gave up. I made up my mind to stay and to forget about my own happiness. It worked for awhile but then that feeling of needing to find happiness kept creeping up on me, I tried to ignore it. Recently my doctor decided to put me on anti depressents because I showed several signs of being depressed. The meds worked they shut off my feelings but that also shut off why I was willing to stay. I had horrible side effects from the meds though so I decided to get off them after only a few days. Then the feeling of needing to leave to find my own happiness came back but with a vengeance. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm trying to ignore it, to push it back, but it's eating at me. He keeps wanting to talk but I can't because if I bring any of this up we will just start fighting again and I have no fight left. I'm tired, this is draining any energy I have left. I know this is starting to effect my kids too I can see it, I can feel their pain. I just don't know how to make this better. I can't keep my head above water anymore. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I need someone to talk to but I know nobody will understand. What am I supposed to do???? I feel so alone in this world.
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
4,417
I know what it's like to feel alone, I'm a long time unhappy in my relationship too. I decided several months ago that I need to leave somehow, it's not easy though. The practicalities of everything make it so difficult, especially if the other half doesn't want to separate.
I don't really have any advice. All I've done so far is to look at how to make separation affordable, who could go where etc, what benefits are available (for both of us as my oh doesn't work), tried to figure out how I could continue to work as my kids are home schooled. I suppose the next thing would be to seek legal advice so that you know where you would stand with regards to housing, splitting assets and children. At least when you know all the process and how you might deal with it it gets rid of the worry of not knowing.
Be strong, I hope things get better soon x
 
L

LonelyMom

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2021
Messages
2
Location
US
I know what it's like to feel alone, I'm a long time unhappy in my relationship too. I decided several months ago that I need to leave somehow, it's not easy though. The practicalities of everything make it so difficult, especially if the other half doesn't want to separate.
I don't really have any advice. All I've done so far is to look at how to make separation affordable, who could go where etc, what benefits are available (for both of us as my oh doesn't work), tried to figure out how I could continue to work as my kids are home schooled. I suppose the next thing would be to seek legal advice so that you know where you would stand with regards to housing, splitting assets and children. At least when you know all the process and how you might deal with it it gets rid of the worry of not knowing.
Be strong, I hope things get better soon x
Thank you. I hope your situation gets better soon too.
 
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