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Relationship anxiety

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Amos81

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2018
Messages
4
Hi, I’m new here, I’m a 37 year old Dad with 2 children. I recently ended a relationship with my girlfriend. It’s the 3rd or 4th time I’ve done it now. She has been nothing but supportive, yet I continue to push her away.

I am blessed in that I have 2 happy, healthy children. My children are from another relationship, a relationship that was pretty destructive. The worry of introducing my girlfriend to them seems to overwhelm me. I know they’ll have no issue with her, in fact they’ll no doubt love her, but still I have that worry. This has resulted in panic attacks and my sleep pattern has been badly affected.

I know that I love my girlfriend, sounds corny but she’s my best friend, but I still push her away constantly and hurt her. I have had counselling which helped, but since my sessions have ended I am again struggling. I don’t take any medication for my anxiety, I’ve tried to do this on my own, maybe that’s my problem that I try do things on my own, I don’t know. Maybe I need to think about medication as I’m not controlling it.

I guess I just wanted a bit of advice, not necessarily answers but just some help from people who have dealt with the things like I do. Thanks for reading
 
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Clairebear1984

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
3
Not sure i can offer advice as such either as im going through a similar situation. I have tried mediaction in the past but i didnt really feel like it helped but maybe i just never found the right kind. I find myself getting anxious over things that arent really a big deal and tend to push my partner away. He is supportive but i think its very hard to understand someone with anxiety when not experiencing it yourself. Doctors say have a more positive approach but thats very hard at times
 
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Amos81

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2018
Messages
4
Not sure i can offer advice as such either as im going through a similar situation. I have tried mediaction in the past but i didnt really feel like it helped but maybe i just never found the right kind. I find myself getting anxious over things that arent really a big deal and tend to push my partner away. He is supportive but i think its very hard to understand someone with anxiety when not experiencing it yourself. Doctors say have a more positive approach but thats very hard at times
It’s tough isn’t it, I started my medication today and I’m trying my best to stay positive. My girlfriend has supported and visited the doctors with me, even though I probably don’t deserve it, I’ve hurt her time and time again but I’m not burying my head in the sand this time, it’s the first time I’ve admitted I have a mental health problem so it’s a step in the right direction.

All I’ll say to you is keep fighting it, I’m the same, little things are built up in my head and then I panic and before I know it My head is in that place and I don’t know how I got there. Hope everything gets sorted on your end, it’s good that your partner is supportive, it means he wants to help and understand.
 
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Clairebear1984

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
3
Maybe i should give it another try. It is so hard especially when you start battling with yourself because you dont want to panic and let things get to you but sometimes you dont have a choice. Have you tried talking therapies if you dont mind me asking. I have the forms to fil in from a referal and im not sure if it is worth a try
 
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Amos81

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2018
Messages
4
Maybe i should give it another try. It is so hard especially when you start battling with yourself because you dont want to panic and let things get to you but sometimes you dont have a choice. Have you tried talking therapies if you dont mind me asking. I have the forms to fil in from a referal and im not sure if it is worth a try
I have been through 2 lots of private therapy through my work place. Both lots were brilliant, but I only got 6 sessions on each occasion, so as I started to manage things and started to follow the methods I was given to try and counter my anxiety, i then reverted back to the same. I’d recommend it but I’d try get it more long term. It’s also very draining, but worthwhile. I’m going to get on the waiting list with the NHS for more constant counselling until I get myself sorted.

Re trying medication again, there are different types and not all may work for you, but if you feel you need it maybe speak to your GP. For me I feel like I’ve wasted a year by not trying medication, instead I thought I was fine and probably didn’t take it serious enough, but I’m where I am now and I’m feeling proud of myself that I’m doing what I need to do to get myself together. Little steps
 
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Clairebear1984

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
3
I will definately give the talking therapies a try. I hope the medication helps and good luck going forward thank you
 
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Amos81

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2018
Messages
4
I will definately give the talking therapies a try. I hope the medication helps and good luck going forward thank you
It is definitely worth a try!

Thank you and same to you
 
maestro of presto

maestro of presto

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 31, 2018
Messages
594
One quote I found inspiring, not sure if it will be any help to you, is:

"[FONT=&quot]Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means." - Ronald Reagan[/FONT]
 
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