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Relationship after divorce for abuser

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Pileofpaper

New member
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
1
Location
New York
I was divorced 13 years ago and haven’t been with anyone or even dated. My ex husband was an abusive liar who has continues to mentally abuse me through “co-parenting” This I realize has taken a massive toll on me. I don’t even know how to function normally as a woman, lover, anymore. I kept my self & kids pretty close & isolated because I was so injured and at times afraid for my life. I don’t feel like a normal person and I am not capable of normal relationships or romantic ones. Externally, I am accomplished successful and look damn good for my age but inside I am a wreck.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,798
Location
England
Hi,
I'm so sorry, have you had any specialist therapy?
You are very brave.
Hugs
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
8,107
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Hi and :welcome:

I can fully empathised with you. I was with a violent abusive serial adulterer. For 12 years. It cause m emotional and physical problems but i had to go on because of my children. And when we finally split up i was relieved , but the children then started to play up bossing me like their father had. I dont know what age your children are but mine kept asking me to let him back and eventually i sat them both down and told them the truth . Not exactly the level of violence but enough. From that day on they changed and didnt want anything to do with him and just asked why hadn’t i told them. They know we had problems but not how bad.

Now thats my story and you can come out of this. I worked my way up in my job, bought a house and a car put two kids thru uni . Never had a holiday apart from a caravan in Scarborough when the kids were little but we were happy. You dont need piles of money to be happy. Have a picnic go to a museaum.

I didnt have a relationship for 20 years because i was so scared of someone doing it again and i wanted to devote my time to my kids But there are some good men out there. Just take your time and get to know them . Don’t let them move in take it slowly . If they truly care they’d understand You will find someone else. But first you have to get your own self sorted and think what YOU want from life. Then things will start to get better.

You can always pm me if you need X
 
Newstartformetoday

Newstartformetoday

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2019
Messages
443
Location
Hull
I was divorced 13 years ago and haven’t been with anyone or even dated. My ex husband was an abusive liar who has continues to mentally abuse me through “co-parenting” This I realize has taken a massive toll on me. I don’t even know how to function normally as a woman, lover, anymore. I kept my self & kids pretty close & isolated because I was so injured and at times afraid for my life. I don’t feel like a normal person and I am not capable of normal relationships or romantic ones. Externally, I am accomplished successful and look damn good for my age but inside I am a wreck.
When rain pours on you, drench in it
embrace and enjoy its caress
life will hit you hard sometimes
feel it, make the pain as your motivation

when fear envelopes your heart
conquer it, reclaim your courage and fight
break the chain of doubt, aspire
run with the light towards your destiny

the cloud of failures makes you weak
find the strength within yourself
hold on to that dream and never let go
believe, reach for the summit of success

🕊🕊
 
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