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Relapsed and don’t know what to do

S

Secrettttttt

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Canada
I created an account on here because i just relapsed today for self harm and I don’t know how to handle it. I promised my boyfriend I never would again, he have me two chances. I can’t ask for a third chance. So I feel as if I can’t tell him. That’s why I’m here. He’s the only one I feel able to handle my mental illness, as he also experiences it. He told me the third time (if it happened, he would lose trust in me). Anyways, I relapsed tonight and I feel like shit. Should I tell him? With corona virus, we haven’t been able to see each other for two months. So as you can imagine, things are already tough with our relationship. I just don’t know if I should tell him or anyone really. It’s been five months since I went cold turkey. I relapsed tonight for various reasons, but I’m worried if I don’t tell someone things will go on too far; I’ve been thinking of things recently that are not a great solution for everyone in my life if you know what I mean. It was a one time thing, and it may have happened because I was a little intoxicated. I don’t know how to feel. Also, I’ve never posted on here, maybe no one will read this or I’ve written too much. Sorry lol I’ve just got a lot on my mind.
 
A

Azien

Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Andover
Hey,

Its ok to blurt everything out, we are here to listen and thats why we come on here. The most important thing i can say is You are Human! These things happen and SH is like an addiction, Drinking never helps as it is a depressant and can cause things like this.

With the good old Covid you may not see him for a while so you could hide it, but how would that make you feel long term? If that will make you feel guilty or worse then you need to do what is best for you to get better and not get into a worse place.

It sounds like you need to talk to someone on the phone so get yourself on the phone to Samaritans or someone about the dark thoughts you are having.
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
171
Location
Slovakia
I think for now it's important that you give yourself another chance. I don't know but I think if someone told me I have two chances, once I do it for the third time I would feel like I ruined everything and nothing matters and I'd just do it again and again because I messed up my chances. So I would say it's important for you to be given another chance. It's up to you whether you ask for one more chance from your boyfriend, or just try to forgive yourself and give yourself the new chance to try and not do it again. I know how tough it is, but you need to be forgiven. It's super hard to stop for good.
 
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