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Relapsed again ....

B

Beyond

Active member
Joined
Dec 5, 2016
Messages
25
Not sure how many times I have written a post like this, but I have relapsed again. I cannot control my urge to drink and drug due to BDP. I haven't been taking my medication because it stops me sleeping and gives me restlessness.

I haven't been meeting with my CPN or GP either, so I am entirely to blame again. I never learn. I have spent my support allowance on getting loaded tonight. I am so selfish.

I am so sorry forever who has to read this crap I am writing .. I am young, I am 24, but I am wasting my life, I have already ruined it and have taken years of my life with drinking and OD'ing.

I'm sorry for the rambling on guys, but sometimes this is the only thing I can turn to to vent my feelings.

Stay safe all, keep fighting the good fight.

Speak soon.
 
W

wheezey

Guest
I do not think you are selfish. Having BPD means we feel so bad that we will do anything just to escape it for a bit. I am sorry you spent all your money though. I hope you will not be without food until you next get money. i can understand you not seeing your CPN if you are feeling low. I used to have a CPN and often cancelled appointments as I could not face thinking about how I feel. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,874
Location
England
Hi,
Your poorly, please don't blame yourself.
Your not selfish, you made a mistake. Sorry you've spent your money.
Hope your going to be okay.
I would go and see your GP.
Here to listen.
Take care
 
Drooo

Drooo

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
876
Location
UK
Don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault that you are ill. What meds were you taking? Anything happened in your life recently that could have brought this on?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,214
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,im sorry you relapsed ,but you shouldn't blame yourself
you are poorly and need support love and care

i don't think i have welcomed you to the forum yet so welcome
love Lu x
 
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