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Relapse of anxiety/panic/depression

ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Jun 4, 2018
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91
I tried calling for an appointment this morning but couldn't get through. Will try again tomorrow but I'm so scared of going to the doctors I might put it off until later in the week. I absolutely hate going. I'll see how I get on tonight with my stomach and anxiety.

Sorry you had a funny moment this afternoon. Hopefully it was a one off.
 
M

MamaMax

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Nov 10, 2021
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Location
Inverness
Don't put it off sparrow, you are suffering already, what's a little more discomfort to get seen and get something sorted out for you? It will be okay, tell them exactly how you are feeling, print off this thread and show it to them. Just now you feel hopeless because there is nothing to focus on in terms of getting well, seeing the doctor will change that. There are lots of different medications, I've only ever been on one of them so I know there are lots of options yet and I am sure there are for you so the sooner you go, the less time it will take to be well again.
 
ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Messages
91
Thanks Max. I'll try.
 
M

MamaMax

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Messages
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Location
Inverness
I'm not good this morning. Woke up with anxiety, diarrhea and just feeling defeated. I don't want to spend another day fighting myself. I want my sertraline to take this away and let me get on with the life I had just under two weeks ago. Where if I wanted coffee, I made it and drank it. If I was hungry, I ate something. If I was sleepy in the day I took a nap. Now I can't drink caffeine, I can't eat until around 5pm and I can't sleep in the day because of the anxiety.

Sorry guys, I usually try my best to at least be a little upbeat but i feel like I'm loosing the good fight today.
 
ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Jun 4, 2018
Messages
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I'm so sorry you're struggling, I know it is horrible! You're not alone in your struggle, we all have similar feelings and emotions. It is the worst!

I've seen you fighting it daily with us this last week and you've been so encouraging to me especially. I really appreciate your help, Max. You dont deserve to feel the way you do. It is a terrible illness but you will recover from it. This is a bad day for you. If you were recovering from a broken leg you would have days of pain and days of less pain. You're having a day of pain at the moment and you're overwhelmed.

Most days we're fighting our emotions, even if we don't know we're doing it. Our thoughts are relentless and rarely focused on one thing for long, unless it's a negative thought. We fight all day and it is tiring. You're tired. We lose interest in normal things, I haven't been on my PC for weeks. I have no desire to go on it because I am ill. Mental illness is awful, it is invisible but it controls everything. Your mind and body.

You will feel better again, you know you will. It's just at the moment your brain is poorly and isn't firing the right chemicals in the right way. We're here for you.

I have a doctors appointment today, not looking forward to it. I think I have gastritis. All my symptoms say that's what it is. I'm still not sleeping. I fell asleep at about 11pm last night and woke up just after midnight. I was awake all night and eventually nodded off about 7am until 8.30am. I've given up trying to sleep now. My stomach has been inflamed all night. I had a bit of porridge about 3am which made me feel a little better.

Like you, I just want to feel normal again and do normal things! I'm here if you need to chat.

Sparrow
 
M

MamaMax

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Inverness
Thank you sparrow, I cracked and called the doctor. He has said to increase the sertraline to 100mg. I've been crying since, because in one way I wanted this in the hope it will fix me and in another way, I am terrified incase it doesn't work, which means I will have to wean off sertraline and start up something new. I really wanted this to just be a blip and I would get over it, forget about it and be happy on my 50mg for more years to come. It all feels very unfair but there is nothing to be done.

I'm so pleased you are going to see the doctor sparrow, please tell them exactly how you are feeling, this could be the very start of turning a corner for you, just like this increase could be for me. You can't keep going like this and neither can I, so we have to do something about it.
 
ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Messages
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The 50mg of Sertraline worked for you previously, I don't see why an adjustment to 100mg won't work for you this time. It's a positive step.

I'm just exhausted. I'm running on empty and feel sick and dizzy. I just want to be asleep but my stomach hurts when lying down and I have insomnia for some reason. I'm so fed up with it. I feel bloated and sore along with my anxiety and depression this is just too much for me.
 
M

MamaMax

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The 50mg of Sertraline worked for you previously, I don't see why an adjustment to 100mg won't work for you this time. It's a positive step.

I'm just exhausted. I'm running on empty and feel sick and dizzy. I just want to be asleep but my stomach hurts when lying down and I have insomnia for some reason. I'm so fed up with it. I feel bloated and sore along with my anxiety and depression this is just too much for me.
If you have gastritis that will be making everything so much worse and the doctor will be able to sort that out for you. That's one of the hardest things with this illness, trying to get enough motivation to keep fighting it. I hope the doctor appointment is positive, I will check in later and see how you are getting on.
 
ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Jun 4, 2018
Messages
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Well, I was on my way to A&E about an hour ago because I couldn't wait for the doctors appointment. I was in pain. My wife drove me, but on the way the doctor called me and asked about my symptoms. He agreed with me that it sounded like gastritis and has prescribed me Lansoprazole 30mg. He's also upped my Mirtazapine from 30mg to 45mg. My Propranolol is staying the same 10mg up to 4 times a day.

Let's hope it works!
 
M

MamaMax

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Oh sparrow, I'm so pleased for you! Not that you have gastritis of course but that it is being treated and your anxiety/depression. This is a good day for us both. As you said to me, there is no reason for this increase not to work for either you or I when we have responded to the lower dose for so long. We can do this!
 
M

MamaMax

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Messages
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Location
Inverness
Having a rough night too, my own fault, getting myself worked up about increasing the dose. I keep crying and generally not helping myself at all. What's so ridiculous, is I have been on 100mg of sertraline before and I was fine. I can't remember the increase part because I was so unwell, but I'm really struggling. My poor mum called me and I had to get off the phone because trying to talk to her about it was sending me into a panic.

Sigh. Sometimes I am so ashamed of how weak I am when it comes to health and medications. My mum gave me dioralyte the other day for the diarrhea and I wouldn't even take that. Yet there are things in my life I have been through that people tell me would have broken them. I don't understand myself at all really.

I know I'm going to increase it. The other option is to continue like this every day, fighting anxiety and worsening mood until I am depressed again. I can't afford therapy and there is like about an 18 month wait for NHS.

I'm so jealous of my husband. His 50mg of sertraline is doing its job and I wish mine was too.

Hopefully soon this will be a distant memory again.
 
B

Berntist

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west yorkshire
i suffer from anxiety and wake up about 8 times a night with a really long lasting hot flush i am past menopause so it's anxiety that causes mine
 
M

MamaMax

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Inverness
It's probably anxiety that caused my flush too
i suffer from anxiety and wake up about 8 times a night with a really long lasting hot flush i am past menopause so it's anxiety that causes mine
It's probably anxiety that caused mine too as the doctor said today it's unlikely to be from perimenopause yet. He thinks I'm too young. How are you getting on Berntist, have you been prescribed any meds?
 
B

Berntist

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west yorkshire
Hi MamaMax thanks for asking i woke up with high Anxiety i didn't want to get up but forced myself i am just on 40mg propranolol twice a day i am just about to take one my heart is pounding how are you?
 
ShySparrow

ShySparrow

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Messages
91
You're incredibly brave, Max. You don't want this mental illness but you're dealing with it. Like you said; you've done it before! The new dose won't begin to work straight away, it will take a bit of time. Any effect will be gradual so no need to worry about starting a different dose. It's a positive thing, Max! We've both made positive steps today like you told me earlier.

We still have our problems though. I felt like I was on cloud 9 as we turned around from heading to the hospital this afternoon, but I'm in severe pain again now with my stomach and worrying if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. I had a bit of porridge which was good though, might try a bit more later hopefully. My stomach needs something in it.

Here if you need to chat!

Sparrow
 
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